ABC dating fob

ABC=Australia born Chinese Do Abc guys like fob girls? I have a close abc guy friend. He has a outgoing nice personality and well educated with good work. But he used to refuse to date any none-abc gals, he only changed his idea after he traveled to Asian countries. Y is that? Y abc guys... I haven't dated any yet, but one tried to invite me to a local mexican restaurant in my city 4 years ago. He was raised in Texas and got his ph.D there. I asked him why he wanted to take me to the restaurant. He replied: don't you want to get laid... Besides fashion there's no physical difference if the ABC and FOB come from the same region. Unless you observe hand gestures as well. The sign for 'come here' is different between FOB and ABC. FOB point fingers down and motion, ABC point finger up and motion. 'Me' FOB point to nose, ABC point to chest... 'FOBs': How Hillary's State Dept. Gave Special Attention to 'Friends of Bill' After Haiti Quake With offers to help pouring in, officials noted who was friend of the Clintons. Abc dating fob. S5 e15 be a. Posted on monday to date a date tbd. There is single woman looking for older man. New bachelor online, foreign women, you were to qualified dealers. Abc. While many of them with matchmakers to a woman younger woman looking for an abc guys here consider yourself a. Every issue to milan. The ABC FOB divide dates back beyond my generation. My father, who I guess would be one of the FOBs, immigrated to the U.S. for school and recounted to me the bitter distinctions Asians made for themselves between those born here and those immigrating here in their young adulthood. It happened then. It happened when I was in school. Unfortunately they are not, and statistics still shows a high rate of divorce or dissatisfaction rate. This is due to the fact that ABC are raised by conservative parents under mostly traditional Chinese education while the new generation of Chine... Branch out and do what I did as an ABC - date a fob. . . .Indian. Ok. She was not a FOB but was born there and came to the USA at age 12. So technically a FOB. The cultures are very compatible despite their outward differences. Plus just try speaking Hindi to an Indian and watch their eyes pop out. I guarantee it is a funny experience. In contrast, I feel Americanized girls are more open to flings and dating, even if it’s with more than one guy at a time. FOB girls don’t tend to shave or groom, down there. We need to change this. Americanized girls are more flirtatious and have more sass (and maybe ass, which is what I’m sure you saw when you first glanced over). The ABC From LA Who Won on the Chinese Dating Show (非诚勿扰) by Justin Yang on Tuesday, September 13, 2011 39 comments comments As I stepped into the small cramped elevator with a pound of make-up on my face, beads of sweat trickling down my forehead, and my heart racing like I was sitting front row at a Justin Bieber concert…it started!

How would I/we fix or break the stereotypes on AM?

2020.08.29 22:41 downieduck How would I/we fix or break the stereotypes on AM?

29AM born and raised in Oceania. About 176cm. Bulky, built and pure endomorph body structure. Fluctuate between 18-21% body fat. I do tend to get fat easily if I don't watch my diet. So I look like a giant midget or a ninja turtle haha. On the plus side, I do have that mannequin apparence when I'm wearing fitted clothes but the trade off is almost possible to see abs for this body type.
Very extroverted when I was younger, late teens and early 20s. But due to maturity, drive and ambition. Im more introverted and I prefer to be introverted now.
Growing up I felt very neglected, isolated and excluded being an ABC Asian with no one understanding my position and up bringing including my backwards, refuge, baby boomer and toxic family/parents. No one can ever relate. So I was left confused, lost and alone. Being bullied and racially treated by groups, teachers and society didn't help either.
In the last 5 years I've found my true self and identity. I feel like I have a grip, clarity and a great amount of confidence in who I am. I embrace and adopt all the positive and healthy sides of my ethnicity, culture and nationality and disregard the negative and toxic sides. I strongly believe in Bruce Lee's philosophy of taking all the pros and throwing away all the cons in all aspects of life.
I dislike and laugh at full white wash Asians who despites and resents their asians side. I see them as confused people who sold out due to fear, insecurities and confusion.
An example of this goes for AFWM dating where the AF drops a shit on on AM saying that "I could never date an Asian guy, it's like dating my brother", "I don't like small dicks" etc etc you know what I mean. There's AM of this version as well. Where they pick and prey on their own kinds and practically kowtow/sold out to whites and the west. I would not and never be like that.
At the same time, I'm not fob at all nor do I want to be categorized or seen as one. Some of their ideology or methods are absolute and beyond cringe so I don't want to be associated with that. Now I'm not hating a lot of my good friends is fobby. You can't deny we just aren't the same culturally and traditionally.
I want to destroy and shatter what the media, western and stereotype had on us
TDLR: what can I do to influence, impact and break these stereotypes that work against us Asians? Or were doomed and I should fly to Taiwan, Singapore, Japan and Korea to be praised as god there? Where AM is actually respected and valued more there? Rather than emasculated and shut down here?
Right now for starters I'm thinking... Make more money Get more tatts Be more aggressive and thug Date hotter girls Start a YT channel Call out more people Optional: Get into more fights haha
submitted by downieduck to AsianMasculinity [link] [comments]

2020.07.16 18:04 Throwawaybayname I'm Happy for my Mainland Chinese People

Especially the men. 10 years ago they were seen as uncool fobs. Now they can finally love themselves and hold their heads high with confidence.
You'd be caught dead seeing YouTube or tiktok vids of women swooning over them.
The tables have turned, their coolness has way surpassed ABC or Asian Americans. I've yet to see compilations of women thirsting over Asian Americans.
If you haven't already, get in touch with your homeland roots. Learn to make dumplings (this also kills for a date night). Otherwise, you're just a bootleg white boy. Or even worse, if you go full urban, you're a bootleg black guy (think fungbros) - zero swag.
submitted by Throwawaybayname to AsianMasculinity [link] [comments]

2020.07.01 23:14 Throwawaybayname USA vs Other Countries - my exp with TanTan

ABC, almost 29. Can speak Mandarin decently.
I used TanTan (Chinese dating app) with success a couple months ago with American women and also wrote a post about it here. I also set my location to several other countries and I was absolutely blown away by the positive responses outside of USA. Almost every damn country is better than USA for asian men.
I used tantan for about a month. I've since deleted the app bc I was spending too much time on there. Here are my general thoughts:
UK - neutral to positive
South Africa - positive
Morocco - positive
Latin America + Mexico - overwhelmingly positive
China - memorable match: Brazilian that's been studying Mandarin for 10 years and was in China to visit. Her tones when speaking were very good. This ties back to Latin America viewing China and Asia in a positive light.
It might be cultural, but it wasn't uncommon for matches outside US to message first and re-initiate convos. US, I only had a handful that messaged first. The matches outside US, especially Latin America are much more friendly. You don't have to spit the aggressive game like you do in USA. In fact I hardly did with the exception of UK, even then, it's not as bad as USA. Other countries was much more mellow and actually getting to know the other person.
What stood out to me was this - the more I embraced my Chinese side and culture, the more interest there was. As opposed to USA, you might get seen as an uncool Fob. Although, I believe this is changing and if you own it 100% I don't think anyone will think you're a turd.
Realistically, I'm quite westernized, so I can only take in so much Chinese culture. But I can continue to learn about the history and culture of my Homeland and embrace it. It's almost like...being a mainland chinese that speaks good English or an ABC that is very in touch with his culture and isn't afraid to share it. It's crazy, there is this whole other world outside of US, where women are very open to what I just mentioned. There are women in US looking for cool Asian dudes too, but it doesn't compare to other countries.
As an AA, if you already do alright in US, I truly believe you will absolutely slay outside of it. Being able to embrace your culture and share it + Western sensibilities, this is the golden combo.
Now you probably won't be able to compete against your handsome kpop bros in SK...these guys literally get the poon thrown at them. BUT, if you have that look and speak English, then I'd say you will do even better.
When this covid scare is over I'm gonna do some traveling.
submitted by Throwawaybayname to AsianMasculinity [link] [comments]

2020.04.04 18:41 Throwawaybayname Tan Tan Experience

Background: ABC, can speak Mandarin decently. 5'8 , 165lb.
I've had some luck with TanTan lately. Thank you Kpop. I might submit a field report for shits and giggles later. So far my best matches and dates have been Latina women lol.
It's mainly half weeaboos and the other half being fobs.
I also don't get the strange meitu app your face to look like an alien and NOTHING like yourself with the Chinese women on the app? Had one date here and I felt cat fished.
Anyways...just wanted to see if anyone else has used it.
submitted by Throwawaybayname to AsianMasculinity [link] [comments]

2019.11.15 20:00 Keverend CBC/ABC looking to make friends/date "fobs"?

I'm a 2.0 gen CBC background is from mainland china, mid 20s and i've always had an interest in China and chinese people. I live in a city with a large number of recent arrivals from China and many are students/working here etc. My mandarin is native sounding, but I'm basically only able to hold down a regular daily conversation. I speak mandarin at home with my parents, can recognize about 500-600 words and text in Chinese using pinyin.
I have a few fob friends but i've always found it hard to really break into their circle. One problem is language, but I find another big issue is i'm very busy with work (surgery resident), so I essentially never work with "fobs", which makes it hard for me to have common interests naturally. The vast majority of my friends are other medical students/residents. The fobs i've met have been through clubs/neighbours etc and notably they tend to be the ones who did undergrad in China and came here for masters. A few other "fob" friends i have had i met in high school as classmates, but none of my fob friends are ones who come here for undergrad.
I have gone on dates with fob girls before, but it either hasn't worked out because i've lost interest or they lost interest, but I feel like this is often due to the fact that I met them mostly on western dating apps.
I want to make friends with "fobs" to gain insight into china today, i've gone on exchange briefly to China and I do keep in touch with my relatives in China, but importantly i'm proud of what China has managed to achieve and I want to improve my mandarin skills and cultural understanding to keep the door open to potentially work with or in China one day.
I'm interested in dating "fobs" because I feel like I would share a lot of interests with them.. for a CBC, i do have a lot of asian interests, i listen to chinese music, have pretty chinese cultural values etc.. Doesn't hurt that I find them attractive as well.
What are some of the best ways to mingle with "fobs" assuming you don't share classes with them or work in the same field and don't have too much time or have many hobbies? I've thought of language exchange? chatting to them in the library? I'm looking to really meet some "fobs" preferably the more academic type (similar to me) around my age and really connect and become friends. Dating is a plus but more of a bonus or side effect than the main deal. What are things that fobs do where I can potentially meet them?
*Please note, i use "fobs" as a neutral term, just don't have a better term to use that is as easy and convenient to write out.
submitted by Keverend to AsianMasculinity [link] [comments]

2018.08.14 19:19 EdwinPeng88 Crazy Rich Asians is Not “the Asian Black Panther” - it’s the Asian American Royal Wedding - Why Crazy Rich Asians Matter

Hello! I'm Edwin Peng, an Asian American YA/sci-fi author. I've browsed this subreddit for years, though this is my first post. I'm introducing myself with my review and essay about Crazy Rich Asians. I originally posted this on my website after I attended an advanced screening. This will take some time to read but I hope that this will convince you that we Asian Americans should support Crazy Rich Asians despite it's flaws and what the movie meant for us as an Asian guys and for me as a creator who's struggling to be accepted by American media.

Why Crazy Rich Asians Matter

It is inevitable that, when a Hollywood film performed spectacularly well at the box office and with the critics, everyone will try to see which future film can duplicate its success. This is even more so when the particular movie was not supposed to do well. In 1977, a poorly marketed sci-fi B movie that only opened at 40 theaters#Release) became one of the highest grossing films - and film franchise - of all time. Star Wars proceeded to spawn countless copycat works all seeking to be “the next Star Wars”.
This year, Black Panther is the “it” film that everyone is talking about - and everyone wants to know what can be “the next Black Panther”. As the first big budget movie with a predominantly African/African American cast and crew featuring a lesser-tiered comic book superhero, Black Panther wasn’t supposed to be the incredible box office and critical success that it became. Not only did it break box office records (it grossed the 3rd most all time - 30th all time adjusted for inflation), the critics loved it so much that many are saying it can finally convince the Academy of Motion Picture to nominate a superhero film for Best Picture. Of course, Black Panther had major impacts on African Americans, in terms of representation on screen, forcing conversations about difficult black issues such as colorism and tension between Africans and African Diaspora, and much needed opportunities for African Americans working in Hollywood.
As Crazy Rich Asians, the movie based on the best-selling book series by Kevin Kwan, is about to debut, inevitably we have the Black Panther comparisons. On the surface, there certainly are many similarities between the two movies. Asian Americans, like African Americans, have long been marginalized by Hollywood, publishing, and the rest of the entertainment industry. Crazy Rich Asians is the first major Hollywood movie starring a predominantly Asian American cast since Joy Luck Club, just like Black Panther is the first superhero film with majority black cast and crew. Even the plots and settings have similarities - both feature heroes who hide their princely identities to the outside world, POC Americans who return to an unexpectedly sophisticated and wealthy homeland, and conflicts between “Old World” elites and their marginalized relations born and raised in America.
All this “Crazy Rich Asians = Black Panther” hype has understandably attracted debates and opposition. If anything, making this comparison is simply lazy reporting and film critiquing. The two films have dramatically different genres and budgets - and earnings expectations. I’ll argue that Crazy Rich Asians is actually more akin to the last British Royal Wedding than Black Panther.
Regardless of the proper analogy, many of my fellow Asian Americans in the entertainment industry want Crazy Rich Asians to have the same level of impact and influence as Black Panther. The success of the book series - and that of the movie - is crucial for Asian Americans - and for all Americans who want fairer and better media representation - because 1) Crazy Rich Asians illustrates the major issues and problems plaguing Asian Americans while still being an enjoyable romance novel/romantic comedy, 2) shows positive, fully-fledged Asian and Asian American characters to Asian and non-Asian Americans audience, and 3) creates opportunities for Asian American creators.

Black Disney Princesses, Meghan Markle, & Asian Prince Charmings

Crazy Rich Asians tells the story of Rachel Chu, a young Chinese American New Yorker, who agrees to visit the family of her longtime boyfriend (and fellow university professor). For many Asian Americans, especially guys, we are most impacted by the one of the book’s first scenes where Rachel narrates how she met. Like many Asian American women (especially middle/upper class and East Asian-both fictional and nonfictional), Rachel prefers dating white men and adamantly refuses to date Asian American males, whom she thinks are all nerdy geeks obsessed with getting great grades and jobs. Then, her best friend introduced her to Nick Young, who, despite being a Singaporean/Chinese man, turns out to be the love of her life and - minor spoiler alert - the most eligible bachelor in all of Southeast Asia.
Let me preface by acknowledging that all minorities, including Asian and African Americans regardless of gender, suffer from lack of non-stereotyped roles in media, as well as discrimination at other aspects of American society. Also, “princess symptom” - how from birth women are taught by the media to be the ideal princess who would marry an ideal prince - is a real problem. Many mainstream feminists have argued that romance novels, romantic comedies - and the British Royal Wedding - are harmful to women for promoting the assumption that they should be beautiful princesses and marry a handsome prince.
But for many African American women and Asian American men, we perceive the “princess symptom” differently than what mainstream (i.e. non-intersectional) feminists. We share the distinction of being the least sexually and romantically desirable ethnic/racial groups. This is due to the dichotomy of Africans being masculinized while Asians being feminized. As many have noted before, black women and Asian Diaspora men are the “losing gender” of their respective racial groups, not just with dating/marrying within their own or other races, but also with assimilation and acceptance into the middle/upper class of the Western world. Both in Western media and society, Black women do not have the privileges of being beautiful, desired princesses and Asian men do not have the privileges of being handsome, desired princes.
Many black women were absolutely delighted by how Black Panther depicts them. The women of Wakanda are fully-fledged characters with agency - and they are depicted as beautiful “despite” having their natural features (hair, darker skin, etc.). T’Challa, arguably the most eligible bachelor in the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe (not only is he wealthier than Tony Stark but is also the king of the most advanced human nation) has his pick of females to be his queen - yet he humbly seeks the love of a black woman. Black Panther does all this while also promoting positive depictions of black men. The movie not only has 3-dimensional black male characters, it also shows via Erik Killmonger the toxicity of extreme masculinity. The vibranium-infused cherry on top of the Wakanda sundae is that non-African Americans also finally see black men as action heroes and black women as smart and beautiful heroines.
Fictional princesses are great for representation, but what’s better are real princesses. This year, we also get our bonafide black princess (complete with a real Cinderella story set at actual fairy tale castles). Yes, Meghan Markle may not be “fully black” - many have noted her privileges of having lighter skin and the royal family is the epitome of WASP patriarchy. But as the New York Times’ Salamishah Tillet and Ellen Barry argue, seeing an actual black princesses is incredibly meaningful and inspiring for black females. Maya Rupert expertly explains how while mainstream feminists condemn the desire of modern women to “be a princesses” (i.e. beautiful and desirable), it’s different for black women as they are stereotyped by society as undesirable.
The Crazy Rich Asians movie - if it becomes a blockbuster - can have the same powerful cultural and societal impacts on how Asian Americans view themselves - and how non-Asian Americans view Asian Americans.
In mainstream literature and Hollywood movies, Asian American women are stereotyped as oversexualized, submissive exotic partners for white men with yellow fever, while Asian American men are stereotyped as desexualized, emasculated eunuchs who are not viable partners for anyone, not just non-Asian women but even for Asian women or gay men. The Crazy Rich Asians series has been providing the medication to counter these harmful views of Asians Americans for nearly a decade.
The Asian eligible bachelors are fully humanized romantic heroes - and they speak not with the stereotypical fake Asian accent (yep-the “Asian accent” you hear from Hollywood is totally fake), but their real native accent. For Nick Young and his upper class male relatives and friends speaks with a sexy British accent, which by itself can surprise and shock American audiences (there are actually many Chinese/Diaspora Chinese who speak like the British Royal Family, not like Charlie Chan). In fact, I would argue that Nick Young is a far superior - and progressive/feminist - romantic novel hero than the abusive glittering vampires or abusive Seattle billionaires that the mostly female gatekeepers of traditional YA/romance publishing promote for their female customers.
If there is a weakness to Crazy Rich Asians’ male characters, it is that they are too passive. Nick Young and his father (who unfortunately doesn’t make an appearance in the movie version) react more than they act and defer to the women of their family. I really appreciate how Crazy Rich Asians turn the previous effeminate stereotype of Asian men as passive into a positive, not negative trait. The series and the movie promote a new type of masculinity for a romantic hero, where we see the stereotypical rich hunk actually cares about, respects, and listens to the important women in his life.
Crazy Rich Asians are no less revolutionary with depicting Asian women. Like their male counterparts, the female characters are diverse, fully-fledged, and actually drives much of the series’ plot. Instead, the Asian and Asian American women who scheme and fight for themselves and their families. They definitely are not “China Dolls” - the passive, submissive ultra-feminine stereotype seen in Western media. The Youngs is basically a matriarchy, with Nick’s grandmother and mother as the most powerful family members. Rachel and her beautiful relationship with her single mother (even more dramatic with the novel) and their rags-to-riches story is celebrated as the Asian American version of the American Dream. What’s more, Rachel, with her New York accent and American-accented Mandarin (the opposite of the “broken English” that’s depicted for Asian characters) are meant as the audience surrogate - allowing non-Asian Americans for the first time to see Americans of Asian descent as Americans as well.

Crazy Rich Asians & Sane Poor Asian Americans

Beside harmful gender stereotypes, Asian Americans are also plagued with the “all Asians look the same” and perpetual foreigner stereotypes. American society assumes that there’s an inherent “Asianess” common to all “Asians” and there isn’t any difference between Asians in Asia and Asian Americans in America. Of course, Hollywood and other American entertainment industries have perpetuated these stereotypes since their inception. The problem with this type of racism is that it dehumanizes Asians, saying that their individual character and personality doesn’t matter, and that they - unlike European Americans - can never be American.
Kevin Kwan crafted Crazy Rich Asians with George RR Martin-esque number of fully-fledged characters. The resulting effect for the reader - especially for those who are not Asian Americans - to realize that “all Asians are the same” is absolutely not true. Crazy Rich Asians depicts (often with excruciating details with plenty of comical details) the differences between Chinese Singaporeans, Chinese Indonesians, Malaysian Chinese, mainland Chinese, Taiwanese, Hong Kongese, Macanese - and of course Chinese Americans. Not only are Chinese Americans depicted as distinct from other Asian Americans and other Chinese, Crazy Rich Asians also made it that there are several kinds of Chinese Americans (i.e. ABCs vs FOBs).
In fact, the many distinct “flavors” of the Chinese characters is main cause of the series’ conflicts. The overall theme is the fight between the old money (Chinese and non-Chinese aristocrats from Hong Kong and Southeast Asia) and the new money (previously impoverished Chinese with self-made fortunes from the mainland, Taiwan, and America). Rachel Chu is demeaned as “too American” by the Singaporean Chinese elite, which delights us Asian Americans who struggle to be accepted by American society. The audience also sees religious, political, and generational differences as sources of conflict among these “crazy Asians”. After watching the movie and/or reading the novels, the audience would be, well, crazy to assume that “all Asians are the same”.
As if Crazy Rich Asians didn’t make it clear enough to a non-Asian viewer that “not all Chinese are the same”, it also has a vast cast of non-Chinese secondary and minor characters. There are Thai royalty, Indian royalty, Malay aristocrats, Turkish aristocrats, and many others who are clearly defined as distinct ethnic/cultural groups, not simply “Asians”. An added bonus to Crazy Rich Asians is that the series presents positive, non-stereotypical images of Muslims (i.e., not terrorists) and Indians (i.e., not an IT worker or a slumdog).
If you think Crazy Rich Asians sounds like Downton Abbey-class conflict set in the extravagance of The Great Gatsby with the noble characters of a Regency romance and the tropes of a classic romantic comedy, well...that’s kinda the point. As Asian Americans, we need our fun beach reads, our escapist romance novels, and date night movies. For a non-Asian American who loves a good romance or period drama, we need them to know that an Asian American man can be Mr. Darcy and an Asian American woman can be Bridget Jones.

“The Asian Bachelor”

Crazy Rich Asians - the movie(s) and the books - is not perfect. Google “Crazy Rich Asians” or click on the #CrazyRichAsians and you will find detractors. Crazy Rich Asians has been accused of cultural appropriation, stereotyping, and colorism. As a “full blooded” Chinese American man (there should be a term for non-hapa Asian American that doesn’t sound Harry Potter-ish), I was especially disappointed by the casting of Henry Golding. The casting choice reinforced the colorism/privileges that Asian Americans with a white parent have in Hollywood and most other aspects of society. To his credit, the actor did not shy away from the controversy. Instead, Golding is very honest about this problem and acknowledge that colorism is a problem. Furthermore, there are plenty of non-Hapa Asian and Asian American actors cast for the other male characters.
I am part of many Asian Americans who support Crazy Rich Asians despite its problems. Not only does the film and books benefits more than it harms Asian American, the people behind it did everything to minimize the flaws and maximize the strengths. Kevin Kwan and the film’s producers fought hard against not only racist Hollywood yellowface/whitewashing but chose a wide theatrical release with the express purpose of providing wide exposure to all the positive portrayals of Asians/Asian Americans.
We also have a related controversy of the removal the explicit mention of Rachel Chu only exclusively dating white men before meeting Nick. I understand the frustration of my fellow Asian American brothers that this lessens the impact of one of the book’s most powerful social commentary. But I also understand the reasoning. Given the fact that, unlike the original series, the movie is meant to be viewed by a mainstream, mostly non-Asian American female audience, having Rachel explicitly state she refuses to date Asian/Asian American men may actually reinforce the negative stereotype and increase the sexual discrimination we face - opposite of what the movie is intending.
I believe the criticisms of the Crazy Rich Asians film ultimately stem from the burden of representation. When Asian/Asian Americans have been so marginalized by Hollywood and other Western media, we often fight over what little representation we receives.

Rich People Problems

Yes, Crazy Rich Asians is not representative of the entire Asian American experience. But for films about non-Chinese Asian Americans or other aspects of Asian American life to succeed, Crazy Rich Asians must destroy the myth that “Asian movies” doesn’t sell, just like Black Panther destroyed the myth that non-blacks want to watch a “black movie”.
My fellow Asian Americans creators and I are ready and willing to provide the proper representation of our peoples. This is why I’m willing to pay for overpriced soda and popcorn and endure the endless trailers and advertisements at the movie theater - and so should you. Let’s make Crazy Rich Asians a success and spawn more - and better - works about and by Asian Americans.
submitted by EdwinPeng88 to AsianMasculinity [link] [comments]

2017.07.25 05:02 walt_hartung Help my wife's friends?

Wife has a bunch of AF friends, from late 20's to late 30's, all FOBs wanting to get married and start families. They're totally FOBs and not woke, they just dont understand about this stuff.
Some have dated a white dude in the past, but they are not white-worshippers. I have not heard them glorify whiteys, wish for white babies, or utter a disparaging remark about Chinese or Asians.
They really want to find Chinese or Asian guy (ABC much preferred), and only consider whiteys an acceptable alternative, distant second to Chinese guys.
They are professionals, pretty attractive, slim, fit, one looks alot like Gemma Chan I think.
Up until now I have refused to help, citing my personal "No White Dude" policy, but maybe I should reconsider. Should I help set them up with some dudes? I'm inclined to say they are not bananarangs. Like I said, they're not woke, but have no great love for whiteys either. They have tried various online apps etc., and say the results are pretty unsatisfactory.
I only help people on my team, should I consider them to be on my team or no? Or do they count as playing for Team W?
Edit for clarity and additional info:
It's my wife asking to help out, not the women themselves. I see them very rarely and have about zero contact with them.
They're FOBs, and pretty traditional actually (hate that word, but cant think of a better one). By that I mean they only date with the intent of getting married: nothing casual, no hookups, usually w/ dudes friends or family set them up with. They've had 2 or 3 boyfriends in the past, and in some cases, one of the 2 or 3 was a white dude.
They've always strongly preferred Chinese, but have nothing against white (and this is my hang-up). They dont understand about racial undertones in the US. They get creepy msgs from white dudes, but they dont understand why. They think it's just guys being guys.
They're definitely not Lu's, and I hesitate to call them bananarangs. About the only thing I can really hold against them is that they're just not woke and think white is ok, and I don't know if that's fair or not. I dont have the energy or inclination to wake them. I see them very rarely. Wife is working on it though.
Story time: One of them signed up for some kind of helicopter ride, and invited my wife to go along. I thought it was some touristy thing around the Inner Harbor or something. Upon returning they tell me it was fun, there was lots of people, and there was food and wine (wine for helicopter ride??). I noticed they had wristbands that said "30-40". Those were to get on the helicopter they said. And then it dawned on me: it was some kind of meet-up/hook-up event. "No way! Really? No wonder it was mostly guys, they were so friendly and kept trying to talk to us!"
They really are FOBs, and clueless about things.
I'm probably going to go with my original instinct and stay out of it.
TLDR: Wife's friends are FOBs, clueless about racial aspect of dating in US, strongly prefer Chinese but think white is ok too. Should I introduce them to some Chinese dudes?
submitted by walt_hartung to aznidentity [link] [comments]

2017.01.20 20:02 JimmyDaeLewis Why is their more self hate among AF's and Gaysians than AM?

After reading a couple of Gaysians threads, I became curious.
Why do you think their is more self hate among AF's and Gaysians compared to AM.
I think it's because women are valued more for their beauty then men. Therfore AF's grow up very insecure about how they look and how the media ridicule's Asian culture. Therefore they don't want to be associated with Asians, because Asian is "bad" and "white" is good.
Asian-Americans look down on FOBS and make fun of them. This is basicaly the same thing what whites do to Asians. They don't give a fuck is your an "ABC", Fob or Hapa, you just a Chinaman.
Anyways, they want to distance themselves I guess and therefore date and marry white. In their mind it's like a statement:
I am desired by WM, thus I am not ugly.
Men are more judged by power, money, status, confidence and looks is maybe number 5-6 on the list.
submitted by JimmyDaeLewis to hapas [link] [comments]

2017.01.20 05:04 ArmorUSA The truth about the ABC situation and why it's VERY DIFFERENT from the "regular discrimination" in China and needs more attention from all Chinese people, parents or kids

I wanted everyone to see this discussion that look place in an earlier post in a little more detail, so I've posted it as a new post. The first part is a well written post by shuidashui - who grew up in China but came to the USA after college. Other people and mine response follow.
[–]shuidashui 2 points 6 hours ago
ArmorUSA, I totally sense you. As a new immigrant growing up in China I've already got my fair share of racism crap ( from all races, even from some ABCs, not just from whites) in the US, it is a social problem for sure. However in China you get other types of discriminations and it's even more blatant -- as a female, I finished my high school and undergrad in China majored in a male dominated field. I've heard numerous times that girls shouldn't pursue a career in this field. My high school physics teacher even talked to me face to face that I should transfer my physics final competition quota to some 'boys' after I won my entrance by really hard work. After that talk I never had any interest in physics at all. In college, some faculties announced in public that he did not welcome female students because he thought females are 'narrow minded' ( and he was not fired). I was born in a middle class big city family which is lucky, I saw plenty unfair policies that favor ppl with 'urban identity card -- hukou' ( kinda like greencard but hukou is only for segregating urban Chinese from rural Chinese). Let's say I have a Beijing hukou, I am already 20 years ahead of those who don't, and to have a first-tier city hukou is getting harder and harder these days. Hukou is a systemized discrimination from government level, not like in the US, at least you have law to protect you from being discriminated ( e.g. you can sue your white employer if you have enough evidence).
I am not blaming my own culture. As a person experienced enough through both culture, I think it's fair to say all human beings are biologically wired to discriminate against anything different from us--We just always want to stay in our comfort zone. I see a lot of Asians are complaining white supremacy while they themselves discriminate Latinos and blacks. So the good thing about the US is discrimination is at least prohibited by law, and people( especially younger generation) know for a fact it's not ethical. While in China the privileged group are protected from the very top level and the whole society just lack the sense of equality. I am not sure about your parents' background, however I can guarantee you that unless they are from super privileged group in China, everyone else will face discrimination in different ways. I am not sure you will be feeling more 'respect' if you grew up in China. Actually your strong sense of demanding 'respect' is probably cultivated by American culture, and for sure, your strong criticism to your parents is totally an American thing ( in China will be considered unethical).
Again, I am not here to criticize you, however I do think it's unfair to blame your parents ( and negatively grouping all ABC's parents). Most ABCs' parents I know in person are not from very privileged Chinese families, they are either from rural area or from working class in the city. When you compare, please compare yourself to the same family background in China and you will get a sense on how lucky you are. In China the social gap is huge and becoming more and more stabilized, when you only focus on Jack Ma or Jianlin Wang, of course you gonna blame your parents-- however they are only 1 in 1.4 billion. On the other hand, if you are from a very privileged Chinese family, through your family connection it should be easy to land a good job in China or making good business connection in the US even with your broken Chinese -- yes it's unfair, but Chinese way of doing business is based on connections, it doesn't matter if you are a ABC or not, and you won't have time to complain on reddit. I can imagine your parents went through all the hardships to get you in this place, or else you are probably struggling in big cities in China to get hukou and with a minimum salary. Of course they have their limitations but please don't take everything for granted.
Also i don't think you will have a hard time 'fitting in' in Chinese culture if you speak good Chinese. Look at all the ABC pop stars in China, their Chinese at the beginning was only fair and somehow they are widely accepted. I think because there are too many Chinese, ppl tend to like someone a bit more 'exotic' and you should leverage that to 'blend in'. I also don't think it's fair to blame ABC parents for not educating them enough Chinese. My parents speak no English and I can still survive as a professional in the US, i also see a lot of white folks speaking Chinese and doing business with Chinese these days. They simply fall in love with Chinese culture and decided to learn mandarin and within a few years they are good enough -- it's not that hard. For practical reasons learning Chinese is utilitarian and you don't have to master your Chinese to a PHD level to take advantage. And ironically, it's much easier for a foreigner to get into Chinese top colleges than a domestic student! If you've already finished college, it's also easy to get a top school MBA in China if you're a foreigner. You simply have many choices that you don't see. What I feel is the major hurdle from ABCs mastering Chinese language is from their self-hatred mentality ( again, I am not blaming you, I think it's a by-product of American white supremacy). A lot of ABCs have even more prejudice against Chinese culture than average western people without even understanding it.
I don't have a kid yet however I will be heartbroken if my ABC kid is criticizing me like this. If you accept American spirit you should take more responsibility on yourself ( e.g. learning Chinese and blend into Chinese business circle) instead of blaming your parents; if you accept Chinese spirit you should try your best to understand your parents, think from their perspective and respect elders. Are you simply immature and selfish?
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[–]ArmorUSA[S] 3 points 3 hours ago*
Thanks for you post.
I don't think you really understand being an ABC at all, given you said you went to high school and undergrad in China. That means you blend in well with Chinese people, especially if you are overseas, and don't have to worry about racial discrimination at all. You may not realize it, but everything you write is from a very Chinese perspective, and does not reflect the true situation of the ABC in America.
I've spent extensive time learning Chinese and I'm sorry, I don't think I can fit even 70% in the Chinese culture that easily. The young Chinese of our generation are very nationalistic and will just continue to purposely use harder and harder Chinese words when they sense that my Chinese is good, they will continue treating me not as a complete Chinese person. I've seen this happen many times. When people see I am well versed in 成语 and some advanced Chinese they will start using 古诗 to prove that their language skills are more superior. It's very annoying, but for an ABC to really blend in, you not only have to know just Chinese, but also all the cultural elements too. It's not easy. Or comfortable. Maybe you are nice to ABCs, but Chinese males think ABC males are a threat. Many are not nice to us, and the better your ABC Chinese is, the more they feel you are a threat.
I totally understand your type of thinking. You are still operating under the Chinese culture, which is to respect your parents, do what they they say w/o question, classic Confucianism.
From what you wrote, it's very clear that you do not really understand what American culture is at all. When you say "if you accept the American spirit you should take more responsibility on yourself..." that's exactly what I'm doing with my writings on here and Wenxue. The core of the American culture is rugged individualism and telling the truth like it is, that is exactly what I've done. I think parents should be respected when they do the right and responsible things, but I don't think respecting parents means that I cannot criticize them. You are still operating under the Chinese mentality of never criticizing elders or leaders, even if they are wrong. That doesn't fly in America. You need adjust your mentality, b/c if you want to stay in USA, and have kids, your Chinese logic will destroy their lives if they want to stay in the USA. You have to 入乡随俗·。 You say "you are a person experienced enough in both culture" - I'm sorry, you think you understand American culture, but clearly you do not. To understand American culture, you have to grow up here, attend high school here, and ONLY associate with whites and blacks and latinos and NOT have the protection of your native Chinese circle.
If you can always go back to the Chinese circle, even in America, that means you do not know what it is like to be an ABC.
When you speak about staying in comfort zone, you are taking for granted that everyone has a comfort zone. Sorry, but ABCs, unlike you native Chinese who come here, do NOT have a comfort zone we can go to. That's everyone's message on this forum. We cannot hide anywhere. 我们无地自容。There is nowhere that we can go when we want a little break from racial discrimination. But you can go find your Chinese friends, start a Wechat group, travel with large group of Chinese friends, and feel like you belong.
ABCs generally cannot do that. Even though Chinese may be poor and some Chinese discriminate against others depending on where you are from, almost every native Chinese in China can "hide" from this by going back to their hometown or village where they belong 100%. ABCs however have no place in the world where they can go and feel that it is their "hometown" where they are 100%. That's the big difference. Also, the discrimination you feel in China between the rich and the poor is very different from the discrimination of an ABC in America. First, if you are poor, you can become rich. That can change. Like Jack Ma, he was poor, but he worked hard and was lucky and became 首富。You have that opportunity, at least.
As an ABC, once you are past teenage years, your identity is set. You can never change. That means, if you don't belong somewhere, you're fucked. That's it. End of the story. No amount of hard work after your teenage years can allow you to learn that cultural assimilation. You are isolated for life.
Another key difference, is that ABC guys are very low on the social scale in the USA. You do not feel that b/c you are a female - in America, whites are much nicer to Chinese females than Chinese or ABC males. But Chinese males can hide in Chinese circles, where they have social status that normal males have. But ABC males cannot hide in the Chinese circle either. So we have nowhere to hide. If you want to imagine what that is like, imagine that no boy in China wants to date someone from your hometown. But all the other girls from other home towns can get married, but simply b/c you are from that hometown, you cannot get married. Too bad, you're just unlucky. You have not done anything to deserve it. Do you like that feeling?
Finally, I think you don't quite understand what it feels like to be an ABC here in America w/regard to race. I know you say people in China all discriminate against each other based on geography, but that's not the same thing. So a lot of Chinese don't understand why identity is so important. That's because they are lucky to be born in a mono-ethnic environment where you never have to worry about identity. But the difference between people of different races is MUCH larger than people of different skin color but different geography. I've seen many Chinese parents here in USA hang out with other Chinese parents who are from different cities, provinces, towns. I've seen parents from Northern China hang out with parents from Shanghai, Jiangsu, Zhejiang, Hunan, even Hainan. But hanging out with someone from another province, but same skin color, is not the same as being forced to hang out with people of different race - it's completely different. Race difference is much bigger.
You cannot understand how an ABC feels b/c you always that China circle as backup, even in the USA. There are so many Chinese in the USA in every city - every city or school has wechat circles (校友国人群, etc...) that provides emotional, dating, career support to new Chinese members. ABCs don't have this support anywhere. ABCs do not have a set identity, a set culture, and their own social systems that protect them and prevent other people from joining. White people can easily break into ABC circles, steal the girls, and leave the guys. That's the truth. We have no language barrier, no cultural barrier, no organization or powerful people or government to support us.
Your trouble with understanding how ABCs feel is the same problem as, if say a human being from earth went to another planet and grew up with aliens (外星人) - just pretend for a minute. For that human, all the aliens will look so different from that human that for him, he will start identifying with the HUMAN RACE as a whole. All of a sudden, skin color will not matter, all of the Humans on another planet will hang out together. But when he comes back to earth and tells us, "hey guys, it's so great to be able to truly be part of a human group all the time" - nobody on earth will understand. Why? Because we take this for granted. We are always with other humans on earth, so we never have to worry about being with aliens. So we will not understand this person who grew up on another planet, b/c we say, so what if you're human? Humans have all types of racism. We will say to the guy who grew up on another planet: "Just deal with it". But it's not "just deal with it". If any of us were to be placed in the same situation as him, on another planet, we would realize that as human, you need to be with other humans. That's emotionally important.
Same way, you growing up in China will Chinese faces and one skin color, is very different from you growing up in the USA and you are one of the very few Asians, amongst people who are white, black, latino, very few like yourself. Everyone has an innate desire to hang out with people who have the same skin color, you just don't realize it when you are in China b/c that's the default. On earth, it's also emotionally important for us to have our own culture, skin color that we can use as backup. I'm not saying we cannot make friends with people from other races, but everyone needs a "default" race, nationality, and culture they can rely on as a social, societal backbone.
I'm not selfish at all. I'm trying to help ABCs who are still young by letting the parents know. It is the parents who are selfish by purposely not admitting reality just so they can save face. 跟ABC 受到的终身孤独比起来,父母的面子值多少钱?
You are the selfish one because you are only thinking about your heart being broken, did you ever care about your future child's heart being broken again and again b/c he is always in a foreign land that he cannot escape from?
permalinkembedsaveparenteditdisable inbox repliesdeletereply [–]HenLiHai [score hidden] 2 hours ago i just want to say this was a very well-written response, you are truly aware of our issues
permalinkembedsaveparentreportgive goldreply [–]xingfenzhen [score hidden] 51 minutes ago* When people see I am well versed in 成语 and some advanced Chinese they will start using 古诗 to prove that their language skills are more superior. That's annoying as hell, I would have replied. 孔兄,不知"回"字有哪四样写法。 可否请教?(Since this story was mandatory reading in Chinese middle schools, most properly edumacated FOBs should have got the reference.)
But the difference between people of different races is MUCH larger than people of different skin color but different geography.
That is so true. My extended family, for example, was composed of and scatter across the entire spectrum of geography of China starting from the 1940s. My cousins that end up in Beijing was unequivocally Beijingers, those in Shanghai are annoyingly Shanghainese, those in Xi'an are the typical northwestern 大汉 etc, and just after just 1 or 2 generations too. They all blend in and accepted by the locals, this is sort of thing is impossible in the US. Matter how many generations you spend in the States, you are not never truly American unless you're white. They can, of course "improve their genes" by marrying white and hope the hapa kids are white enough that people don't notice, but that opens a entirely new can of worms....
permalinkembedsaveparentreportgive goldreply [–]ArmorUSA[S] 1 point 15 minutes ago*
Exactly. Your skin color means you are always different from the whites and anyone can instantly notice. If a Chinese boy grew up in another ASIAN country like Japan, Korea, or Singapore, he won't have this type of problem. The problem is that ABCs grow up in WESTERN countries dominated by white people who look entirely different. There's no way you can "blend in" no matter how hard you try. European immigrants' kids who grow up in the USA do NOT have the problem that ABCs do b/c they look Western.
That's why I feel ABCs may NOT become like Jews in America - b/c Jews may work hard and be cohesive, but they also LOOK WESTERN. ABCs do NOT that's the big difference. Also, the geographical discrimination (地域歧视) that you talk about in China is different because there are many, many provinces and while each province or city discriminates against outsiders, most Chinese can always find that one place (家乡) that they can go to where they are 100% accepted w/o effort. ABCs living in the West is different from this situation for the reasons I cited above. Also, the degree of discrimination, if you measure by "degree", is insanely different. Let me explain why:
In China, let's say there are 31 provinces + a few more 自治区 and some other territories, that means each person when moving to other places experiences a similar degree of discrimination. If someone from Beijing goes to Shanghai they will be discriminated but a Shanghai person going to Beijing can expect the same discrimination. Moreover, if both the SH and BJ people go to say Shenzhen they BOTH get discriminated by SZ people. So it's much more uniform level of discrimination that applies to every Chinese, more or less.
ABC situation is very different. We are like a tiny portion of the US population, say not even 1-2%. We are discriminated by say (80-90%) of the US population (whites) REGARDLESS of where we go. We have no place of our own where we can discriminate against those white people back. We are the minorities wherever we go and white people are the majority WHEREVER they go. The discrimination is insanely one sided.
So the proper comparison would be to assume 98% of China's territory is controlled by say Beijing people and 2% are Shanghai people - that would be a proper comparison to the ABC's situation. And also make the Shanginese people look physically different from the Beijing people, so no matter how the Shanginese tries to blend in people can tell he is from the 2% shanghai group. And now pretend you are a Shanghainese. That's how an ABC feels.
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2017.01.19 23:57 officesquat East VS West - Bridging the narrative from 2 different viewpoints

As someone who has spent significant time in both places, I thought I'd try to let both parties see and discuss view from both perspectives (since it seems people from wenxue are coming here too)
Why parents migrate - Problems are much more obvious. We brush these off as minor, but are they really minor?
Why children are resentful to live in the west - Problems are more insidious. Parents think they're all personal issues, but are they?
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2016.09.14 00:38 EastMeetsEast California Dreamin': A Haphazard Collection of Random Shower Thoughts and Musings from a Korean American Guy in SoCal

What's good fam . Been a while since I checked in with the brothers here and I still haven't had a chance to podcast since arriving, so I figured I'd re-connect with y'all through text (even though I hate texting... unless it's all emojis!!! ;D). Been out here now for close to two months now, explored the city a bit with friends old and new, and met Dumbfoundead at Line hotel (highly disappointed, but that's a story for another time!). So until I can coordinate a time with Teen to ramble vociferously about anything and everything, have a listicle!
Observation #1: Asian America is worse off than I thought
Having lived my entire young and young adult life in the Midwest, I guess I was always afforded the luxury of being able to think whatever the fuck I wanted about Asian Americans since there wasn't necessarily a ton around to disabuse me of my notions. In the back of my mind, I guess I always figured there's a ton of y'all out there like me - real dudes that maximize the opportunities they have while recognizing that significant challenges and hurdles need to be overcome in a concerted, collective fashion. Now realize I might have been suffering from a severe case of projection bias cuz I look around me and... whew.
Don't get me wrong, I love my brothers to death. However, the sheer amount of minstrelsy I see around me is off the Richter scale. Those who've clawed the scales off their eyes generally tend to have a very elementary understanding of race relations in this country, primarily spoon fed to them like Gerber's formula from YouTube sketches and occasional blog articles. This goes for both the guys and gals, and brings me to point #2.
Observation #2: American born Asian guys piss me off
What the fuck is wrong with you guys? I'm Americanized as shit, I bleed red, white, and blue, and I speak with the down-home folksiness of an upper middle class Midwestern suburbanite who learned manners and Reagonomics in Sunday School. But I'm ASTOUNDED by how sleep you guys are. The FOBs and 1.5 generation kids, particularly the fu er dai cruising through places like Fullerton and Pasadena in an Aventador, tend to have way more racial and class consciousness than your average ABC or ABK, even if the latter went to "radical" liberal institutions like Berkeley. Stop posing for selfies with your white friends in front of 85C while holding up mochi pastries, and pick up a fucking book once in a while, thanks. Matter of fact, stop hanging out with white people period in a social setting like a fucking lemming unless they're willing to accord you the same basic human respect they give to one another (and good luck finding that unicorn in a haystack).
Observation #3: I've lost all patience with American born Asian girls.
Point blank, y'all are killing me. Seriously, if the guys are sleep, y'all been cryogenically frozen in deep stasis like Walt's icicle adorned corpse. White worship is rampant (yes, it's worse in NorCal, but SoCal is definitely not immune, particularly in white majority areas), and yes, y'all know EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE DOING. EXACTLY. I've met and talked to enough of y'all now to know that all this pearl clutching online about "toxic masculinity" is a fucking façade. In your most honest moments, you fully and freely admit that your white boyfriend(s) have Yellow Fever, that they disrespect you, and you don't care because you've both bought into the emasculation of Asian men and you're racist against other POC. Own it. Like I've said a million times before, I don't care, just GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY COMMUNITY, YOU DO NOT SPEAK FOR ME. Constance Wu getting propped up like some sort of savior of the community makes me laugh my ass off. Tangent: Hollywood gives zero fucks about Constance Wu, she has done nothing for Asians (particularly Asian men) within the industry, and the only people who even know who the fuck she is are gullible AMERICAN BORN ASIANS who complacently accept yet ANOTHER one of these freaking agents as a spokesperson on our behalf. Stop the madness, please. I work in the industry at a major, I will let y'all know the INSTANT I see someone with slanty eyes actually making waves on our behalf. Until then, please stop falling for reverse Tokyo Roses out to promote themselves and their pet projects at the expense of the community.
Bottom line: Date a white boy if you want, but unless that white boy hangs out with ASIAN GUYS, he (and by extension, you) are not welcome in my community. If he's the kind of white guy that only talks to Asian girls, and never chills with the dudes, then fuck him, and fuck you too. THAT'S YELLOW FEVER, WHEN WHITE GUYS ONLY WANT TO TALK TO AND HANG OUT WITH THE GIRLS WHILE IGNORING THE DUDES. STOP ENABLING THAT SHIT. Stop bringing them to dim sum, stop bringing them to Asian professional meetups, and stop dragging them to Asian nights at Lure. If you want to be part of White culture so bad, just FUCK OFF TO AN APPLEBEE'S, stop ruining my local BBQ joint with that racist ass eyesore of a relationship, thanks <3
Observation #4: Dating in SoCal is probably the best it gets for Asian guys in America.
If dating is all you're concerned about, SoCal is probably your best bet in America, particularly in predominantly Asian areas (Alhambra, Arcadia, Rowland Heights, K-Town, etc.). If you got your shit together, have at least a tenuous grasp of fashion, and can carry a conversation and flirt with the opposite gender without suffering night sweats, then you'll be okay (e.g., 4-5 dates a week with different women purely off of online dating apps and through friends of friends). This is assuming you work a full-time job and actually pay bills like a grown ass man... I assume if you're running around in platform heels and a funny hat in 2016 "day gaming" on random street corners like some shady dude selling knockoff Rolexes in Manhattan, I'm sure it can be a lot more.
That being said, dating is still terrible, because:
Observation #5: SoCal is a giant sausage fest, the city is spread out as shit, traffic turns 11 miles away into a fucking long distance relationship, and oh yeah, America is still racist as fuck towards Asian men, even in "liberal" areas.
I'll just leave this here:
The ratios in LA are pretty horrible to begin with, but add in all the gendered racism against Asian dudes here, and if you're an American born Asian, you're pretty much hopping from one sausage party to another. Things are better if you know your native language and can crack FOB or 1.5 gen circles, but again, shit is NOTHING compared to being in Asia. I highly suggest that all bros who have their shit together make a trip out to Asia, just to understand what "normal" actually looks like. A lot of enclave bros, because their dating life is "okay" here and not the barren nightmarish hellscape that is 99% of 'Murica, don't understand quite how badly they've been dicked until they go to back to their mother country and see how they actually stack up when the general population is not having its collective psyche assaulted with abominable stereotypes about Asian men. Of course, this only applies if you're a decent looking dude who's confident talking to women. If you're a young, socially awkward guy still learning how to navigate the contours of a human relationship without accidentally vomiting spaghetti onto his shoes, maybe work on that first.
More to come! Hopefully in a podcast, because my fingers are getting tired from swiping left ;P One sarang, y'all, stay breezy. Fuck the power, and all that jazz <3
Edit: just shitposting in AM, I love that flair. Miss you Dai Lo ❤️
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2016.05.29 16:31 emememaker73 The Week In Review: Suburban News of the Past Week (5/29/16)

Aurora dedicates new William V. Plum 'pocket park' (Chicago Tribune/Aurora Beacon-News)
Evergreen Park man, a graduate of Benedictine University and Mundelein Seminary, ordained as minister on Saturday, gives first sermon on Sunday in Chicago (Chicago Tribune/Daily Southtown)
FBI seeking Hispanic man in his 40s for armed robbery of Bolingbrook bank (Chicago Sun-Times)
West Chicago celebrates Blooming Fest, an outgrowth of West Chicago Garden Club's annual plant sale (Daily Herald)
Just Play! Sports & Recreation Festival held in Carol Stream (Daily Herald)
Lincolnshire's Wright Junior High School's Science Olympiad team wins national championship (Daily Herald)
Streamwood motorcyclist dies after two motorcycles collide on Brier Hill Road in Hampshire Township (Daily Herald)
Two pedestrians struck by a car on Route 47 at Jericho Road near Sugar Grove (CBS 2)
Waukegan artist and volunteers create train mural in Waukegan parking lot, include reference to Waukegan-born author Ray Bradbury (Chicago Tribune/Lake County News-Sun)
Live Green Family Festival puts Waukegan's Bowen Park on display, gives families a chance to connect with nature (Chicago Tribune/Lake County News-Sun)
Reputed gang member living Naperville, given a second chance after being jailed for Wheaton beating when he was 18, now facing time in prison for sex trafficking (Chicago Tribune)
Waukegan man accused of shoplifting at Walmart in Round Lake Beach allegedly hit police officer with his car (Chicago Sun-Times)
28-year-old Lindenhurst man held on $1 million bail after police search home, find two pipe bombs and materials to build more (Chicago Sun-Times)
Five people taken to hospital after five-vehicle crash on Interstate 90 in Hoffman Estates (Daily Herald)
Huntley, Lake in the Hills Rotary Clubs partner up to bring carnival to Huntley on Memorial Day weekend (Daily Herald)
Public information meeting scheduled for Tuesday, June 7, to discuss improvements to Fairfield, Monaville roads in Lake Villa (Daily Herald)
Actor Dick Van Dyke to perform on Sunday, June 26, at Tivoli Theatre in Downers Grove ((Danville) Commercial-News)
Struggling Gary Community School Corp. approves $500,000 grant to fix boiler at Roosevelt College and Career Academy, after getting assurance of help from Indiana Legislature (ABC 7)
Hanover Park felon faces weapons charge following traffic stop in Elgin (Daily Herald)
College of DuPage officials plan to keep property taxes, tuition at same rates as last year (Daily Herald)
Buffalo Grove Park District to hold annual Flag Day event on Tuesday, June 14 at Veterans Park on Weiland Road (Daily Herald)
Joliet man arrested on charges of sexual assault in Joliet, Channahon (Chicago Sun-Times)
74-year-old New Lenox man dies after his motorcycle collides with a tractor-trailer truck on Interstate 55 in Channahon Township (Chicago Sun-Times)
Drew Peterson's murder-for-hire trial in alleged plot against Will County state's attorney begins in downstate Chester (WBBM AM 780)
Bartlett police arrest three teens during home burglary on Wilcox Drive; one suspect at large (Daily Herald)
Mundelein police determine bomb threat at Carl Sandburg Middle School was not credible (Daily Herald)
Owner of Bandito Barney's Beach Club and Bordello buys lot at 110 N. River St. in East Dundee; parking lot planned there (Daily Herald)
Staff, patrons approve of temporary location for Indian Trails Public Library's Wheeling branch, located in strip mall at Buffalo Grove and Dundee roads (Daily Herald)
Geneva man arrested on charges of retail theft, attempted carjacking at Kohl's in Batavia (Daily Herald)
Students, staff of Beebe Elementary School in Naperville evacuated to nearby junior high following bomb threat (Daily Herald)
Sunstar Americas Inc. to host grand opening of its Schaumburg headquarters for invited guests on June 7 (Daily Herald)
Marklund to close Wood Dale resale shop on June 17 after 40 years of operation (Daily Herald)
52-year-old Elgin woman on probation for providing marijuana to a minor stands accused of having sex with a 15-year-old boy (Daily Herald)
19-year-old Mundelein man indicted on charges of reproduction of child porn, intimidation for threatening to post sex videos of underage girlfriend online (Chicago Tribune/Deerfield Review)
Tennessee man arrested following domestic situation in Crystal Lake in which he fired a gun a number of times (Chicago Sun-Times)
Downers Grove police arrest Richton Park man for possession of a stolen vehicle, Matteson man for stealing appliances from Sears; pair caught at storage facility (Chicago Sun-Times)
Midlothian man barracades himself inside garage with a shotgun after Cook County Sheriff's deputies arrive to evict him (Chicago Sun-Times)
Boy pronounced death after ATV crash in a field along Bryn Mawr Lane in Crystal Lake (Chicago Sun-Times)
As apartment occupancy rates rise across the suburbs, so do rents (Crain's Chicago Business)
Mission Capital Advisors to sell foreclosed Arlington Town Square mall, which includes 32 retail spaces, eight offices, six-screen movie theater (Crain's Chicago Business)
Homewood-Flossmoor High School may prevent honor-roll student from participating in graduation after using racial epithet during talent show (CBS 2)
Missing Lake Geneva woman, three sons rented van from Lake Bluff, which was returned to a Texas facility (NBC 5)
NerdWallet: Naperville is richest community in Midwest, 19th nationwide, based on income, home value and credit availability (NBC 5)
One person injured in four-vehicle crash on I-90 near Illinois Route 59; three westbound lanes shut down (NBC 5)
Highland Park's Rosewood Beach named to Top 5 restored beaches by American Beach & Shore Preservation Association (ABC 7)
Village of Park Forest agrees to settle federal lawsuit over wrongful death of 95-year-old World War II veteran at assisted-living facility in 2013 (Chicago Tribune/Daily Southtown)
30-something-year-old man sought in robbery of Inland Bank in Lombard (Chicago Sun-Times)
Doctor from Lemont, unlicensed physician from Cicero indicted in Medicare-fraud scheme at Chicago clinic (Chicago Sun-Times)
Motorcyclist who ran red light critically injured in crash at North Delany and Wadsworth roads in Wadsworth (Chicago Sun-Times)
Geneva Community School District board 304 president: Geneva mayor has suggested taking two properties out of proposed TIF as compromise (Daily Herald)
39 Japanese students share culture, explore Chicago during five-day visit with Arlington Heights Elementary School District 25 (Daily Herald)
Mundelein Village Board rejects proposed 81-foot cellular tower at the Chapel on Hawley Street (Daily Herald)
St. Charles City Council agrees to fund $113,000 feasibility study on teardown of Fox River dam, construction of recreational uses (Daily Herald)
Bensenville mother says Bensenville District 2 officials have ignored first-grade 'fight club' (CBS 2)
Group of Lisle residents seeks referendum on refinancing $4.2 billion debt on Lisle-Benedictine University Sports Complex (Daily Herald)
City records show Elgin continuing to spend money on nonprofit-fundraising tickets for councilmen's spouses, $13,245 annually for past three years (Daily Herald)
Schaumburg native, CEO of AdvantaClean to appear on CBS's 'Undercover Boss' on Sunday, May 29 (Daily Herald)
Officials from Green Oaks, Libertyville, Mundelein, Vernon Hills tout current, upcoming projects during 'Ask the Mayors' event (Daily Herald)
Three-story science addition to Glenbard West High School in Glen Ellyn expected to open by autumn (Daily Herald)
Clerk injured during robbery of gas station in 1700 block of North Farnsworth (Daily Herald)
St. Charles aldermen voice support for removable dock under Red Gate Road bridge for rowing club (Daily Herald)
Oak Park officials say the village would pay $720,664 towards widening, rebuilding of Eisenhower Expressway under deal made with IDOT (Chicago Tribune/Oak Leaves)
Smoke from Ford Heights tire-recycling center fire visible for miles (Chicago Tribune/Daily Southtown)
Naperville to re-examine use of City Hall for religious purposes, fees, installation of Christmas tree after conservative Christian group hosted Day of Prayer event (Chicago Tribune/Naperville Sun)
Evanston City Council rejects proposed ordinance that would have tightened restrictions on massage parlors to root out unsavory businesses (Chicago Tribune/Evanston Review)
Iowa man accused of making synthetic marijuana, following charges against Aurora tobacco-shop owner in the death of an Aurora man in a 2011 car-vs-house crash in North Aurora (Chicago Sun-Times)
Divvy's expansion to include new stations in suburbs like Oak Park, Evanston (Chicago Sun-Times)
Brookfield Zoo puts 1-month-old Mexican gray wolf pups on display (Chicago Sun-Times)
Oak Brook-based TreeHouse Foods to close plants in California, Wisconsin and eliminate 720 jobs (Crain's Chicago Business)
100 teachers, staff set to retire from Elgin Area Unit School District U-46 (WBBM AM 780)
Metra to offer free rides for children ages 11 and younger between Memorial Day weekend and Labor Day (WGN TV)
Pair of bald eagles seen nesting in Busse Woods in Elk Grove Village (ABC 7)
Woodstock wedding venue claims Prospect Heights couple never paid deposit, didn't schedule event; former co-owner pays $1,700 deposit out of personal funds (NBC 5)
Four students from the suburbs participate in Scripps National Spelling Bee in Maryland (NBC 5)
Thousands participate in 5K Cupcake Classic race in Downers Grove to raise funds for research, awareness of Batten disease (CBS 2)
Group of Hawthorn Woods residents oppose proposed development with gas station, car wash, houses at Illinois Route 22 and Quentin Road (Daily Herald)
Outdoor fitness equipment set to debut June 12 at Huntley's Deicke Park (Daily Herald)
Argonne National Laboratory launches clean-energy technology incubator at campus near Darien (Daily Herald)
Libertyville man's passion for sailing brings Viking-era warship to life in Waukegan (Daily Herald)
DuPage County opens renovated Animal Care and Control facility after $390,000 work completed (Daily Herald)
Waukegan man arrested on drug charges after agreeing to delivery 1 kilogram of cocaine to undercover Lake County Sheriff's detective (Chicago Sun-Times)
Restauranteur to open Porkchop locations in Bolingbrook, Merrillville, Oak Brook over the next four months (Crain's Chicago Business) plans to add 2,000 more workers at a second Joliet warehouse (Crain's Chicago Business)
Authorities believe suspect in Elmhurst bank robbery on Wednesday also committed heist at Lombard bank on Monday (CBS 2)
Two Elmhurst schools put in lockdown while police search for bank robber (NBC 5)
Chicago woman killed in car-vs-semi crash on northbound Illinois Route 394 at Sauk Trail Road in Sauk Village (CBS 2)
More than 80 fifth-grade students from Arlington Heights elementary school worked at local businesses as part of PTA's 'World of Work' program (Daily Herald)
Aurora contracts with Massachusetts-based Zagster Inc. to offer rental bikes at three stations in city's downtown (Daily Herald)
Naperville Unit School District 203 seeking 'team player' to fill school board vacancy (Daily Herald)
Two women's testimony to be allowed in sexual-abuse trial of Elgin imam (Daily Herald)
Sleepy Hollow leader says village operating on 'very tight budget' despite recently approved property-tax referedum (Daily Herald)
Forest Park man charged with battery, restraint after reported attack in River Forest on woman he met online (Chicago Tribune/Forest Leaves)
Questions raised about Lincoln-Way High School District 210 board members' attendence; opponents say it shows lack of oversight, may be cause of questionable expenditures (Chicago Tribune/Daily Southtown)
McHenry County jury convicts California trucking-company owner after getting a whiff of marijuana seized from a cargo van he was driving (Chicago Tribune)
Metra train strikes man on Southwest Service Line near Chicago Ridge (Chicago Tribune/Daily Southtown)
DCFS: Death of Chicago teen at Lake Villa home for troubled youth a emblematic of wider problems at facilities statewide (Chicago Tribune)
Judge throws out two felony theft charges against former North Chicago police chief; charges of official misconduct, misapplication of funds remain (Chicago Tribune/Lake County News-Sun)
Some residents of Yorkville apartment complex file complaints with city, Kendall County over alleged mold infestation; property owner is having the units tested (Chicago Tribune/Aurora Beacon-News)
Gradual rollout of gradeless-homework proposal in Yorkville School District 115 in works after families, students voice concerns (Chicago Tribune/Aurora Beacon-News)
Village of Fox Lake to have chance to present evidence in police board's hearing on Gliniewicz pension (Daily Herald)
Rolling Meadows native survives harrowing attack by brown bear in Alaska (Daily Herald)
Elgin's Downtown Neighborhood Association pushes special service area where new 1 percent propery tax would be assessed to expand services, such as garbage and snow removal (Daily Herald)
State legislator says 'more sunshine' needed on public-employee contracts in light of 10-year deal in Palatine Elementary School District 15 (Daily Herald)
As CFO plans to depart, Hoffman Estates-based Sears debating future of store brands, repair business (Crain's Chicago Business)
[Kenilworth house designed by Chicago architect and World's Fair planner Daniel Burnham put on the market for $7.75 million]( (Crain's Chicago Business)
Trees downed by Wednesday storm damages Oak Grove Cemetery in Bristol (CBS 2)
'JUSTICE LEAGUE: Battle for Metropolis' interactive thrill ride opens Memorial Day weekend at Six Flags Great America in Gurnee (NBC 5)
[Storm aftermath: Spring Grove house struck by lightning; car damaged by falling tree in Chicago Ridge]( (NBC 5)
Protestors call for $15 minimum wage outside McDonald's Oak Brook headquarters on Thursday (ABC 7)
Four-story senior-living apartment building planned for former Era Tool & Manufacturing Co. property on North Avenue in Des Plaines (Daily Herald)
Hanover Park Fire Department recognized for rescuing Bartlett man who fell into frozen Deep Quarry Lake in February (Daily Herald)
Well-known pianist, accompanist from Arlington Heights loses battle with ovarian cancer (Daily Herald)
Two pizza-delivery drivers robbed at gunpoint in Waukegan (Daily Herald)
Mundelein Village Board formally merges human-relations commission, utility-box-art review and police-statue-planning committees into Mundelein Arts Commission (Daily Herald)
Elgin's Floyd Brown, Streamwood's Tom Petersen to be inducted into WGN Radio's Walk of Fame (Daily Herald)
North Central College in Naperville reaches agreement to acquire Chicago-based Shimer College, to create Shimer Great Books School to integrate Shimer's curriculum (Daily Herald)
Three unlocked vehicles stolen in Palatine/Inverness area; suspects used spare key fobs from glove boxes to take the cars (Daily Herald)
Former teacher at Zion-Benton, Grayslake North high schools pleads not guilty to charge he sexually assaulted a student me met at the Zion school (Chicago Tribune/Lake County News-Sun)
29-year-old Chicago man charged in sexual abuse of Oak Park teen he met through Tinder while claiming to be 17 years old (Chicago Tribune/Oak Leaves)
McHenry County authorities: Homeless man spit, swore at judge, threw water on correctional officer (Chicago Tribune)
Indiana racing enthusiast hopes to revive long-closed U.S. 30 Drag Strip venue in Hobart (Chicago Tribune/Post-Tribune)
Parents file lawsuit against Harvey day-care center claiming the facility locked their 2-year-old son inside overnight (Chicago Sun-Times)
Richton Park man sentenced to nearly 19 years in prison for his part in heroin ring that ran the drug between Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Michigan and Minnesota (Chicago Sun-Times)
Second Gary pedestrian struck by car on May 20 has died (Chicago Sun-Times)
35-year-old Lombard motorcyclist dies three days after accident where his motorcycle struck a raised median near intersection of Lincoln Avenue, Reagan Boulevard in Bolingbrook (Chicago Sun-Times)
Mother being questioned in death of 'extremely' malnurished infant with spina bifida in Harvey (Chicago Sun-Times)
Unoccupied Aurora townhouse unit damaged by fire following lightning strike (Chicago Sun-Times)
Man with gun robs Chase Bank branch in Portage (CBS 2)
Lansing police officer wounded, attempted-robbery suspect dead in shooting at grocery store on Torrence Avenue (NBC 5)
Suspect in Elmhurst, Lombard bank robberies shoots himself to death outside Proviso West High School in Hillside (ABC 7)
Parents, students protest proposed school closure outside Lincoln-Way High School District 210 board meeting (WGN TV)
St. Charles Community School District 303 board debates how to pay for turf fields at its two high schools; deals may include sponsorships, advertising (Daily Herald)
Arlington Park to create second, lower-price Racing Club after first one sells out (Daily Herald)
Aurora's Grand Army of the Republic Hall and Museum to reopen on Memorial Day after 15-year, $3.5 million renovation project (Daily Herald)
More than 1,000 students from Wheaton-Warrenville Unit School District 200 participate in National Bike to School Day (Daily Herald)
Trial begins for Park Ridge police officer accused of beating two teenage suspects in 2006 after suspects allegedly shot out a window in his personal vehicle with a slingshot (Chicago Tribune/Park Ridge Herald-Advocate)
Taxpayers foot the $35,000 bill when Cicero Public School District 99 superintendent, board members stay at hotel in Chicago for conference, travel to Boston, Nashville, New Orleans, San Diego (Chicago Sun-Times/FOX 32)
Florida real-estate investor buys 1,100 acres of distribution center near I-55/I-80 interchange in Will County (Crain's Chicago Business)
Drivers finding long waits at emissions-testing facilities across the state after IEPA resumes sending notices, notifying of June 1 deadline (CBS 2)
Naperville police search for man accused of trying to kidnap 5-year-old girl from Nichols Library (Daily Herald)
Elk Grove Township, state senator to give property-tax seminar on Wednesday, June 1, at township building in Arlington Heights (Daily Herald)
Lake in the Hills approves incentive deal to get retailer Big R to locate store in former Dominick's at Algonquin and Randall roads (Daily Herald)
Wauconda man accused of being under the influence of marijuana, causing pedestrian death in Volo on May 5 (Daily Herald)
Elmwood Park man scheduled to take up clerkship with Illinois Supreme Court charged with possession of child pornography after posing as a 22-year-old woman (Chicago Tribune/Elm Leaves)
New York company Horse Shows in the Sun purchases Balmoral Park near Crete for $1.6 million, plans horse-jumping shows starting next year (Chicago Tribune/Daily Southtown)
Wilmette man dies of heart disease Thursday night while running in the J.P. Morgan Corporate Challenge in Chicago (Chicago Tribune)
Opposition still fighting Valparaiso human-rights ordinance passed last Monday, claims ordinance violates Religious Freedom Restoration Act and Indiana law (Chicago Tribune/Post-Tribune)
Parents demand removal of plaques honoring embattled Lincoln-Way High School District 210 ex-superintendent (Chicago Tribune/Daily Southtown)
Woodland Intermediate School and Education Support Center in Gurnee locked down following nearby car crash (Chicago Sun-Times)
Bolingbrook-based Ulta Beauty expecting sales growth of more than 20 percent during most-recent quarter (Crain's Chicago Business)
'Ruck of Honor' run in Glencoe raise awareness of soldiers, veterans who die as a result of suicide (WBBM AM 780)
Recovering heroin addict and friends create 'sober bar' social club in Crystal Lake (CBS 2)
Three peregrine falcon chicks nesting at Evanston Public Library receive names: Foley, Stardust and Juliet (ABC 7)
Oak Lawn's public Stony Creek Golf Course has lost $2 million in last 10 years, yet politicians, other VIPs have played without paying greens fees (Chicago Sun-Times/Better Government Association)
Woodstock man charged in January 2015 shooting in Woodstock, arrested on another unrelated charge (Chicago Sun-Times)
About 600 youth soccer teams gather for Grove United tournament in Palatine, Schaumburg for Memorial Day weekend (Daily Herald)
California-based 24 Hour Fitness to open in 40,000 square feet of former Dominick's store at Geneva Road and Main Street in Carol Stream (Daily Herald)
Invisible Fence of DuPage donates six pet oxygen masks to Wheaton Fire Department (Daily Herald)
Groundbreaking on $15 million addition to Arlington Heights' Thomas Middle School expected this fall (Daily Herald)
West Chicago resident's donation will allow 50 students to participate in STEM program at West Chicago City Museum this summer (Daily Herald)
Elk Grove Township, DiMucci Companies negotiating potential sale of township's youth services building (Daily Herald)
Arlington Heights man pleads no contest to hacking his wife to death with a hatchet in 2014 in Mount Pleasant, Wis. (Daily Herald)
Historian wants to see headstones for three Illinois Civil War veterans buries in abandoned cemetery in Kendall County (WBBM AM 780)
FBI: Black man wearing a red wig and sunglasses robs Carol Stream bank (Daily Herald)
Homewood-Flossmoor High School officials bar student from graduation after she read poem administration calls offensive (Chicago Tribune/Daily Southtown)
Passenger injured in shooting between two vehicles on U.S. Route 30 near Montgomery (Chicago Tribune/Elgin Courier-News)
12-year-old girl in critical condition after getting struck by a pickup truck in Gages Lake (Chicago Tribune/Lake County News-Sun)
Remains of Blue Island Marine to be returned 73 years after he died in World War II (Chicago Tribune/Daily Southtown)
8-year-old boy walking on tracks with another boy critically injured after CTA Purple Line train hits him near Dempster Street station (Chicago Sun-Times)
Harvey woman charged with child endangerment after 5-month-old daughter dies in case DCFS describes as extreme malnourishment (CBS 2)
Geneva man completes goal of running 50 marathons in 50 states with Michigan race; raised $45,461 for wheelchair charity (NBC 5)
Country Club Hills Theater reopens after new management takes over and three years of renovations (ABC 7)
submitted by emememaker73 to ChicagoSuburbs [link] [comments]

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  1. A.B.C. vs. F.O.B. : Parents Standards on Dating
  2. Date Disaster-FOB Blind Date
  3. ABG (Asian Baby Girl) VS Rich Mainland Chinese - Online ...
  4. The ABC-FOB Divide -- Sven Wang
  5. ABC News - Online Dating - YouTube
  6. FOB dating
  8. 'Dating Advice for Millenials'' by Bela Gandhi on ABC's GMA

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