'FOBs': How Hillary's State Dept. Gave Special ... - ABC News
How would you describe the difference between FOBs and ABC ...
The ABC From LA Who Won on the Chinese Dating Show (非诚勿扰 ...
The ABC and FOB Divide 8Asians An Asian American ...
What is like for a female ABC to date a native Chinese (or ...
Being an ABC and dating fobby girls? : AsianMasculinity
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To FOB or Not FOB - FOB Girls vs. Americanized Chinese ...
ABC=Australia born Chinese Do Abc guys like fob girls? I have a close abc guy friend. He has a outgoing nice personality and well educated with good work. But he used to refuse to date any none-abc gals, he only changed his idea after he traveled to Asian countries. Y is that? Y abc guys... I haven't dated any yet, but one tried to invite me to a local mexican restaurant in my city 4 years ago. He was raised in Texas and got his ph.D there. I asked him why he wanted to take me to the restaurant. He replied: don't you want to get laid... Besides fashion there's no physical difference if the ABC and FOB come from the same region. Unless you observe hand gestures as well. The sign for 'come here' is different between FOB and ABC. FOB point fingers down and motion, ABC point finger up and motion. 'Me' FOB point to nose, ABC point to chest... 'FOBs': How Hillary's State Dept. Gave Special Attention to 'Friends of Bill' After Haiti Quake With offers to help pouring in, officials noted who was friend of the Clintons. Abc dating fob. S5 e15 be a. Posted on monday to date a date tbd. There is single woman looking for older man. New bachelor online, foreign women, you were to qualified dealers. Abc. While many of them with matchmakers to a woman younger woman looking for an abc guys here consider yourself a. Every issue to milan. The ABC FOB divide dates back beyond my generation. My father, who I guess would be one of the FOBs, immigrated to the U.S. for school and recounted to me the bitter distinctions Asians made for themselves between those born here and those immigrating here in their young adulthood. It happened then. It happened when I was in school. Unfortunately they are not, and statistics still shows a high rate of divorce or dissatisfaction rate. This is due to the fact that ABC are raised by conservative parents under mostly traditional Chinese education while the new generation of Chine... Branch out and do what I did as an ABC - date a fob. . . .Indian. Ok. She was not a FOB but was born there and came to the USA at age 12. So technically a FOB. The cultures are very compatible despite their outward differences. Plus just try speaking Hindi to an Indian and watch their eyes pop out. I guarantee it is a funny experience. In contrast, I feel Americanized girls are more open to flings and dating, even if it’s with more than one guy at a time. FOB girls don’t tend to shave or groom, down there. We need to change this. Americanized girls are more flirtatious and have more sass (and maybe ass, which is what I’m sure you saw when you first glanced over). The ABC From LA Who Won on the Chinese Dating Show (非诚勿扰） by Justin Yang on Tuesday, September 13, 2011 39 comments comments As I stepped into the small cramped elevator with a pound of make-up on my face, beads of sweat trickling down my forehead, and my heart racing like I was sitting front row at a Justin Bieber concert…it started!
How would I/we fix or break the stereotypes on AM?
2020.08.29 22:41 downieduckHow would I/we fix or break the stereotypes on AM?
29AM born and raised in Oceania. About 176cm. Bulky, built and pure endomorph body structure. Fluctuate between 18-21% body fat. I do tend to get fat easily if I don't watch my diet. So I look like a giant midget or a ninja turtle haha. On the plus side, I do have that mannequin apparence when I'm wearing fitted clothes but the trade off is almost possible to see abs for this body type. Very extroverted when I was younger, late teens and early 20s. But due to maturity, drive and ambition. Im more introverted and I prefer to be introverted now. Growing up I felt very neglected, isolated and excluded being an ABC Asian with no one understanding my position and up bringing including my backwards, refuge, baby boomer and toxic family/parents. No one can ever relate. So I was left confused, lost and alone. Being bullied and racially treated by groups, teachers and society didn't help either. In the last 5 years I've found my true self and identity. I feel like I have a grip, clarity and a great amount of confidence in who I am. I embrace and adopt all the positive and healthy sides of my ethnicity, culture and nationality and disregard the negative and toxic sides. I strongly believe in Bruce Lee's philosophy of taking all the pros and throwing away all the cons in all aspects of life. I dislike and laugh at full white wash Asians who despites and resents their asians side. I see them as confused people who sold out due to fear, insecurities and confusion. An example of this goes for AFWM dating where the AF drops a shit on on AM saying that "I could never date an Asian guy, it's like dating my brother", "I don't like small dicks" etc etc you know what I mean. There's AM of this version as well. Where they pick and prey on their own kinds and practically kowtow/sold out to whites and the west. I would not and never be like that. At the same time, I'm not fob at all nor do I want to be categorized or seen as one. Some of their ideology or methods are absolute and beyond cringe so I don't want to be associated with that. Now I'm not hating a lot of my good friends is fobby. You can't deny we just aren't the same culturally and traditionally. I want to destroy and shatter what the media, western and stereotype had on us TDLR: what can I do to influence, impact and break these stereotypes that work against us Asians? Or were doomed and I should fly to Taiwan, Singapore, Japan and Korea to be praised as god there? Where AM is actually respected and valued more there? Rather than emasculated and shut down here? Right now for starters I'm thinking... Make more money Get more tatts Be more aggressive and thug Date hotter girls Start a YT channel Call out more people Optional: Get into more fights haha
2020.07.16 18:04 ThrowawaybaynameI'm Happy for my Mainland Chinese People
Especially the men. 10 years ago they were seen as uncool fobs. Now they can finally love themselves and hold their heads high with confidence. You'd be caught dead seeing YouTube or tiktok vids of women swooning over them. The tables have turned, their coolness has way surpassed ABC or Asian Americans. I've yet to see compilations of women thirsting over Asian Americans. If you haven't already, get in touch with your homeland roots. Learn to make dumplings (this also kills for a date night). Otherwise, you're just a bootleg white boy. Or even worse, if you go full urban, you're a bootleg black guy (think fungbros) - zero swag. https://youtu.be/5eRLwttAP6o
2020.07.01 23:14 ThrowawaybaynameUSA vs Other Countries - my exp with TanTan
ABC, almost 29. Can speak Mandarin decently. I used TanTan (Chinese dating app) with success a couple months ago with American women and also wrote a post about it here. I also set my location to several other countries and I was absolutely blown away by the positive responses outside of USA. Almost every damn country is better than USA for asian men. I used tantan for about a month. I've since deleted the app bc I was spending too much time on there. Here are my general thoughts: UK - neutral to positive
culture is actually kinda similar to USA
also diverse, since many neighboring countries
matched with many people studying abroad originally from EE
was surprised to get matched with desi women
a good number of Muslim women too
memorable match: talked to a green eyed Spanish gal for a bit. she sent nudes
South Africa - positive
China has been investing heavily into SA so I wanted to see how Chinese were viewed
memorable match: matched with a zambian girl with a thin face and big booty. She said many Africans (including herself) admire China more than USA. She sent nudes
Morocco - positive
now this one was a shocker. Korean culture is HUGE over there. You better believe that your Korean bros across the sea are getting the Muslim poon thrown at them.
memorable match: would talk about culture, her country, etc. Her ex was Chinese but left to Italy for work. She would send selfies with cute messages.
Latin America + Mexico - overwhelmingly positive
possibly the BEST place for Asian Americans
many bios saying, "I like Asian boys" or "only looking for asian guys"
matches will msg you first, send voice notes, re-initiate convos, send cute messages. I felt like there was a genuine interest to learn Asian culture and to get to know me
kpop is big, but what surprised me is that Chinese pop culture was too. Many girls had hanfu (traditional Chinese wear) posts. Which makes sense, c-drama is meh compared to k-drama. But hanfu drama is great, the production values and sets are massive with great detail
China - memorable match: Brazilian that's been studying Mandarin for 10 years and was in China to visit. Her tones when speaking were very good. This ties back to Latin America viewing China and Asia in a positive light. It might be cultural, but it wasn't uncommon for matches outside US to message first and re-initiate convos. US, I only had a handful that messaged first. The matches outside US, especially Latin America are much more friendly. You don't have to spit the aggressive game like you do in USA. In fact I hardly did with the exception of UK, even then, it's not as bad as USA. Other countries was much more mellow and actually getting to know the other person. What stood out to me was this - the more I embraced my Chinese side and culture, the more interest there was. As opposed to USA, you might get seen as an uncool Fob. Although, I believe this is changing and if you own it 100% I don't think anyone will think you're a turd. Realistically, I'm quite westernized, so I can only take in so much Chinese culture. But I can continue to learn about the history and culture of my Homeland and embrace it. It's almost like...being a mainland chinese that speaks good English or an ABC that is very in touch with his culture and isn't afraid to share it. It's crazy, there is this whole other world outside of US, where women are very open to what I just mentioned. There are women in US looking for cool Asian dudes too, but it doesn't compare to other countries. As an AA, if you already do alright in US, I truly believe you will absolutely slay outside of it. Being able to embrace your culture and share it + Western sensibilities, this is the golden combo. Now you probably won't be able to compete against your handsome kpop bros in SK...these guys literally get the poon thrown at them. BUT, if you have that look and speak English, then I'd say you will do even better. When this covid scare is over I'm gonna do some traveling.
2020.04.04 18:41 ThrowawaybaynameTan Tan Experience
Background: ABC, can speak Mandarin decently. 5'8 , 165lb. I've had some luck with TanTan lately. Thank you Kpop. I might submit a field report for shits and giggles later. So far my best matches and dates have been Latina women lol. It's mainly half weeaboos and the other half being fobs. I also don't get the strange meitu app your face to look like an alien and NOTHING like yourself with the Chinese women on the app? Had one date here and I felt cat fished. Anyways...just wanted to see if anyone else has used it.
2019.11.15 20:00 KeverendCBC/ABC looking to make friends/date "fobs"?
I'm a 2.0 gen CBC background is from mainland china, mid 20s and i've always had an interest in China and chinese people. I live in a city with a large number of recent arrivals from China and many are students/working here etc. My mandarin is native sounding, but I'm basically only able to hold down a regular daily conversation. I speak mandarin at home with my parents, can recognize about 500-600 words and text in Chinese using pinyin. I have a few fob friends but i've always found it hard to really break into their circle. One problem is language, but I find another big issue is i'm very busy with work (surgery resident), so I essentially never work with "fobs", which makes it hard for me to have common interests naturally. The vast majority of my friends are other medical students/residents. The fobs i've met have been through clubs/neighbours etc and notably they tend to be the ones who did undergrad in China and came here for masters. A few other "fob" friends i have had i met in high school as classmates, but none of my fob friends are ones who come here for undergrad. I have gone on dates with fob girls before, but it either hasn't worked out because i've lost interest or they lost interest, but I feel like this is often due to the fact that I met them mostly on western dating apps. I want to make friends with "fobs" to gain insight into china today, i've gone on exchange briefly to China and I do keep in touch with my relatives in China, but importantly i'm proud of what China has managed to achieve and I want to improve my mandarin skills and cultural understanding to keep the door open to potentially work with or in China one day. I'm interested in dating "fobs" because I feel like I would share a lot of interests with them.. for a CBC, i do have a lot of asian interests, i listen to chinese music, have pretty chinese cultural values etc.. Doesn't hurt that I find them attractive as well. What are some of the best ways to mingle with "fobs" assuming you don't share classes with them or work in the same field and don't have too much time or have many hobbies? I've thought of language exchange? chatting to them in the library? I'm looking to really meet some "fobs" preferably the more academic type (similar to me) around my age and really connect and become friends. Dating is a plus but more of a bonus or side effect than the main deal. What are things that fobs do where I can potentially meet them? *Please note, i use "fobs" as a neutral term, just don't have a better term to use that is as easy and convenient to write out.
2018.08.14 19:19 EdwinPeng88Crazy Rich Asians is Not “the Asian Black Panther” - it’s the Asian American Royal Wedding - Why Crazy Rich Asians Matter
Hello! I'm Edwin Peng, an Asian American YA/sci-fi author. I've browsed this subreddit for years, though this is my first post. I'm introducing myself with my review and essay about Crazy Rich Asians. I originally posted this on my website after I attended an advanced screening. This will take some time to read but I hope that this will convince you that we Asian Americans should support Crazy Rich Asians despite it's flaws and what the movie meant for us as an Asian guys and for me as a creator who's struggling to be accepted by American media.
Why Crazy Rich Asians Matter
It is inevitable that, when a Hollywood film performed spectacularly well at the box office and with the critics, everyone will try to see which future film can duplicate its success. This is even more so when the particular movie was not supposed to do well. In 1977, a poorly marketed sci-fi B movie that only opened at 40 theaters#Release) became one of the highest grossing films - and film franchise - of all time. Star Wars proceeded to spawn countless copycat works all seeking to be “the next Star Wars”. This year, Black Panther is the “it” film that everyone is talking about - and everyone wants to know what can be “the next Black Panther”. As the first big budget movie with a predominantly African/African American cast and crew featuring a lesser-tiered comic book superhero, Black Panther wasn’t supposed to be the incredible box office and critical success that it became. Not only did it break box office records (it grossed the 3rd most all time - 30th all time adjusted for inflation), the critics loved it so much that many are saying it can finally convince the Academy of Motion Picture to nominate a superhero film for Best Picture. Of course, Black Panther had major impacts on African Americans, in terms of representation on screen, forcing conversations about difficult black issues such as colorism and tension between Africans and African Diaspora, and much needed opportunities for African Americans working in Hollywood. As Crazy Rich Asians, the movie based on the best-selling book series by Kevin Kwan, is about to debut, inevitably we have the Black Panther comparisons. On the surface, there certainly are many similarities between the two movies. Asian Americans, like African Americans, have long been marginalizedby Hollywood, publishing, and the rest of the entertainment industry. Crazy Rich Asians is the first major Hollywood movie starring a predominantly Asian American cast since Joy Luck Club, just like Black Panther is the first superhero film with majority black cast and crew. Even the plots and settings have similarities - both feature heroes who hide their princely identities to the outside world, POC Americans who return to an unexpectedly sophisticated and wealthy homeland, and conflicts between “Old World” elites and their marginalized relations born and raised in America. All this “Crazy Rich Asians = Black Panther” hype has understandably attracted debates and opposition. If anything, making this comparison is simply lazy reporting and film critiquing. The two films have dramatically different genres and budgets - and earnings expectations. I’ll argue that Crazy Rich Asians is actually more akin to the last British Royal Wedding than Black Panther. Regardless of the proper analogy, many of my fellow Asian Americans in the entertainment industry want Crazy Rich Asians to have the same level of impact and influence as Black Panther. The success of the book series - and that of the movie - is crucial for Asian Americans - and for all Americans who want fairer and better media representation - because 1)Crazy Rich Asiansillustrates the major issues and problems plaguing Asian Americans while still being an enjoyable romance novel/romantic comedy, 2) shows positive, fully-fledged Asian and Asian American characters to Asian and non-Asian Americans audience, and 3) creates opportunities for Asian American creators.
Black Disney Princesses, Meghan Markle, & Asian Prince Charmings
Crazy Rich Asians tells the story of Rachel Chu, a young Chinese American New Yorker, who agrees to visit the family of her longtime boyfriend (and fellow university professor). For many Asian Americans, especially guys, we are most impacted by the one of the book’s first scenes where Rachel narrates how she met. Like many Asian American women (especially middle/upper class and East Asian-both fictional and nonfictional), Rachel prefers dating white men and adamantly refuses to date Asian American males, whom she thinks are all nerdy geeks obsessed with getting great grades and jobs. Then, her best friend introduced her to Nick Young, who, despite being a Singaporean/Chinese man, turns out to be the love of her life and - minor spoiler alert - the most eligible bachelor in all of Southeast Asia. Let me preface by acknowledging that all minorities, including Asian and African Americans regardless of gender, suffer from lack of non-stereotyped roles in media, as well as discrimination at other aspects of American society. Also, “princess symptom” - how from birth women are taught by the media to be the ideal princess who would marry an ideal prince - is a real problem. Many mainstream feminists have argued that romance novels, romantic comedies - and the British Royal Wedding - are harmful to women for promoting the assumption that they should be beautiful princesses and marry a handsome prince. But for many African American women and Asian American men, we perceive the “princess symptom” differently than what mainstream (i.e. non-intersectional) feminists. We share the distinction of being the least sexually and romantically desirable ethnic/racial groups. This is due to the dichotomy of Africans being masculinized while Asians being feminized. As many have noted before, black women and Asian Diaspora men are the “losing gender” of their respective racial groups, not just with dating/marrying within their own or other races, but also with assimilation and acceptance into the middle/upper class of the Western world. Both in Western media and society, Black women do not have the privileges of being beautiful, desired princesses and Asian men do not have the privileges of being handsome, desired princes. Many black women were absolutely delighted by how Black Panther depicts them. The women of Wakanda are fully-fledged characters with agency - and they are depicted as beautiful “despite” having their natural features (hair, darker skin, etc.). T’Challa, arguably the most eligible bachelor in the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe (not only is he wealthier than Tony Stark but is also the king of the most advanced human nation) has his pick of females to be his queen - yet he humbly seeks the love of a black woman. Black Panther does all this while also promoting positive depictions of black men. The movie not only has 3-dimensional black male characters, it also shows via Erik Killmonger the toxicity of extreme masculinity. The vibranium-infused cherry on top of the Wakanda sundae is that non-African Americans also finally see black men as action heroes and black women as smart and beautiful heroines. Fictional princesses are great for representation, but what’s better are real princesses. This year, we also get our bonafide black princess (complete with a real Cinderella story set at actual fairy tale castles). Yes, Meghan Markle may not be “fully black” - many have noted her privileges of having lighter skin and the royal family is the epitome of WASP patriarchy. But as the New York Times’ Salamishah Tillet and Ellen Barry argue, seeing an actual black princesses is incredibly meaningful and inspiring for black females. Maya Rupert expertly explains how while mainstream feminists condemn the desire of modern women to “be a princesses” (i.e. beautiful and desirable), it’s different for black women as they are stereotyped by society as undesirable. The Crazy Rich Asians movie - if it becomes a blockbuster - can have the same powerful cultural and societal impacts on how Asian Americans view themselves - and how non-Asian Americans view Asian Americans. In mainstream literature and Hollywood movies, Asian American women are stereotyped as oversexualized, submissive exotic partners for white men with yellow fever, while Asian American men are stereotyped as desexualized, emasculated eunuchs who are not viable partners for anyone, not just non-Asian women but even for Asian women or gay men. The Crazy Rich Asians series has been providing the medication to counter these harmful views of Asians Americans for nearly a decade. The Asian eligible bachelors are fully humanized romantic heroes - and they speak not with the stereotypical fake Asian accent (yep-the “Asian accent” you hear from Hollywood is totally fake), but their real native accent. For Nick Young and his upper class male relatives and friends speaks with a sexy British accent, which by itself can surprise and shock American audiences (there are actually many Chinese/Diaspora Chinese who speak like the British Royal Family, not like Charlie Chan). In fact, I would argue that Nick Young is a far superior - and progressive/feminist - romantic novel hero than the abusive glittering vampires or abusive Seattle billionaires that the mostly female gatekeepers of traditional YA/romance publishing promote for their female customers. If there is a weakness to Crazy Rich Asians’ male characters, it is that they are too passive. Nick Young and his father (who unfortunately doesn’t make an appearance in the movie version) react more than they act and defer to the women of their family. I really appreciate how Crazy Rich Asians turn the previous effeminate stereotype of Asian men as passive into a positive, not negative trait. The series and the movie promote a new type of masculinity for a romantic hero, where we see the stereotypical rich hunk actually cares about, respects, and listens to the important women in his life. Crazy Rich Asians are no less revolutionary with depicting Asian women. Like their male counterparts, the female characters are diverse, fully-fledged, and actually drives much of the series’ plot. Instead, the Asian and Asian American women who scheme and fight for themselves and their families. They definitely are not “China Dolls” - the passive, submissive ultra-feminine stereotype seen in Western media. The Youngs is basically a matriarchy, with Nick’s grandmother and mother as the most powerful family members. Rachel and her beautiful relationship with her single mother (even more dramatic with the novel) and their rags-to-riches story is celebrated as the Asian American version of the American Dream. What’s more, Rachel, with her New York accent and American-accented Mandarin (the opposite of the “broken English” that’s depicted for Asian characters) are meant as the audience surrogate - allowing non-Asian Americans for the first time to see Americans of Asian descent as Americans as well.
Crazy Rich Asians & Sane Poor Asian Americans
Beside harmful gender stereotypes, Asian Americans are also plagued with the “all Asians look the same” and perpetual foreigner stereotypes. American society assumes that there’s an inherent “Asianess” common to all “Asians” and there isn’t any difference between Asians in Asia and Asian Americans in America. Of course, Hollywood and other American entertainment industries have perpetuated thesestereotypessince their inception. The problem with this type of racism is that it dehumanizes Asians, saying that their individual character and personality doesn’t matter, and that they - unlike European Americans - can never be American. Kevin Kwan crafted Crazy Rich Asians with George RR Martin-esque number of fully-fledged characters. The resulting effect for the reader - especially for those who are not Asian Americans - to realize that “all Asians are the same” is absolutely not true. Crazy Rich Asians depicts (often with excruciating details with plenty of comical details) the differences between Chinese Singaporeans, Chinese Indonesians, Malaysian Chinese, mainland Chinese, Taiwanese, Hong Kongese, Macanese - and of course Chinese Americans. Not only are Chinese Americans depicted as distinct from other Asian Americans and other Chinese, Crazy Rich Asians also made it that there are several kinds of Chinese Americans (i.e. ABCs vs FOBs). In fact, the many distinct “flavors” of the Chinese characters is main cause of the series’ conflicts. The overall theme is the fight between the old money (Chinese and non-Chinese aristocrats from Hong Kong and Southeast Asia) and the new money (previously impoverished Chinese with self-made fortunes from the mainland, Taiwan, and America). Rachel Chu is demeaned as “too American” by the Singaporean Chinese elite, which delights us Asian Americans who struggle to be accepted by American society. The audience also sees religious, political, and generational differences as sources of conflict among these “crazy Asians”. After watching the movie and/or reading the novels, the audience would be, well, crazy to assume that “all Asians are the same”. As if Crazy Rich Asians didn’t make it clear enough to a non-Asian viewer that “not all Chinese are the same”, it also has a vast cast of non-Chinese secondary and minor characters. There are Thai royalty, Indian royalty, Malay aristocrats, Turkish aristocrats, and many others who are clearly defined as distinct ethnic/cultural groups, not simply “Asians”. An added bonus to Crazy Rich Asians is that the series presents positive, non-stereotypical images of Muslims (i.e., not terrorists) and Indians (i.e., not an IT worker or a slumdog). If you think Crazy Rich Asians sounds like Downton Abbey-class conflict set in the extravagance of The Great Gatsby with the noble characters of a Regency romance and the tropes of a classic romantic comedy, well...that’s kinda the point. As Asian Americans, we need our fun beach reads, our escapist romance novels, and date night movies. For a non-Asian American who loves a good romance or period drama, we need them to know that an Asian American man can be Mr. Darcy and an Asian American woman can be Bridget Jones.
“The Asian Bachelor”
Crazy Rich Asians - the movie(s) and the books - is not perfect. Google “Crazy Rich Asians” or click on the #CrazyRichAsians and you will find detractors. Crazy Rich Asians has been accused of cultural appropriation, stereotyping, and colorism. As a “full blooded” Chinese American man (there should be a term for non-hapa Asian American that doesn’t sound Harry Potter-ish), I was especially disappointed by the casting of Henry Golding. The casting choice reinforced the colorism/privileges that Asian Americans with a white parent have in Hollywood and most other aspects of society. To his credit, the actor did not shy away from the controversy. Instead, Golding is very honest about this problem and acknowledge that colorism is a problem. Furthermore, there are plenty of non-Hapa Asian and Asian American actors cast for the other male characters. I am part of many Asian Americans who support Crazy Rich Asians despite its problems. Not only does the film and books benefits more than it harms Asian American, the people behind it did everything to minimize the flaws and maximize the strengths. Kevin Kwan and the film’s producers fought hard against not only racist Hollywood yellowface/whitewashing but chose a wide theatrical release with the express purpose of providing wide exposure to all the positive portrayals of Asians/Asian Americans. We also have a related controversy of the removal the explicit mention of Rachel Chu only exclusively dating white men before meeting Nick. I understand the frustration of my fellow Asian American brothers that this lessens the impact of one of the book’s most powerful social commentary. But I also understand the reasoning. Given the fact that, unlike the original series, the movie is meant to be viewed by a mainstream, mostly non-Asian American female audience, having Rachel explicitly state she refuses to date Asian/Asian American men may actually reinforce the negative stereotype and increase the sexual discrimination we face - opposite of what the movie is intending. I believe the criticisms of the Crazy Rich Asians film ultimately stem from the burden of representation. When Asian/Asian Americans have been so marginalized by Hollywood and other Western media, we often fight over what little representation we receives.
Rich People Problems
Yes, Crazy Rich Asians is not representative of the entire Asian American experience. But for films about non-Chinese Asian Americans or other aspects of Asian American life to succeed, Crazy Rich Asians must destroy the myth that “Asian movies” doesn’t sell, just like Black Panther destroyed the myth that non-blacks want to watch a “black movie”. My fellow Asian Americans creators and I are ready and willing to provide the proper representation of our peoples. This is why I’m willing to pay for overpriced soda and popcorn and endure the endless trailers and advertisements at the movie theater - and so should you. Let’s make Crazy Rich Asians a success and spawn more - and better - works about and by Asian Americans.
2017.07.25 05:02 walt_hartungHelp my wife's friends?
Wife has a bunch of AF friends, from late 20's to late 30's, all FOBs wanting to get married and start families. They're totally FOBs and not woke, they just dont understand about this stuff. Some have dated a white dude in the past, but they are not white-worshippers. I have not heard them glorify whiteys, wish for white babies, or utter a disparaging remark about Chinese or Asians. They really want to find Chinese or Asian guy (ABC much preferred), and only consider whiteys an acceptable alternative, distant second to Chinese guys. They are professionals, pretty attractive, slim, fit, one looks alot like Gemma Chan I think. Up until now I have refused to help, citing my personal "No White Dude" policy, but maybe I should reconsider. Should I help set them up with some dudes? I'm inclined to say they are not bananarangs. Like I said, they're not woke, but have no great love for whiteys either. They have tried various online apps etc., and say the results are pretty unsatisfactory. I only help people on my team, should I consider them to be on my team or no? Or do they count as playing for Team W? Edit for clarity and additional info: It's my wife asking to help out, not the women themselves. I see them very rarely and have about zero contact with them. They're FOBs, and pretty traditional actually (hate that word, but cant think of a better one). By that I mean they only date with the intent of getting married: nothing casual, no hookups, usually w/ dudes friends or family set them up with. They've had 2 or 3 boyfriends in the past, and in some cases, one of the 2 or 3 was a white dude. They've always strongly preferred Chinese, but have nothing against white (and this is my hang-up). They dont understand about racial undertones in the US. They get creepy msgs from white dudes, but they dont understand why. They think it's just guys being guys. They're definitely not Lu's, and I hesitate to call them bananarangs. About the only thing I can really hold against them is that they're just not woke and think white is ok, and I don't know if that's fair or not. I dont have the energy or inclination to wake them. I see them very rarely. Wife is working on it though. Story time: One of them signed up for some kind of helicopter ride, and invited my wife to go along. I thought it was some touristy thing around the Inner Harbor or something. Upon returning they tell me it was fun, there was lots of people, and there was food and wine (wine for helicopter ride??). I noticed they had wristbands that said "30-40". Those were to get on the helicopter they said. And then it dawned on me: it was some kind of meet-up/hook-up event. "No way! Really? No wonder it was mostly guys, they were so friendly and kept trying to talk to us!" They really are FOBs, and clueless about things. I'm probably going to go with my original instinct and stay out of it. TLDR: Wife's friends are FOBs, clueless about racial aspect of dating in US, strongly prefer Chinese but think white is ok too. Should I introduce them to some Chinese dudes?
2017.01.20 20:02 JimmyDaeLewisWhy is their more self hate among AF's and Gaysians than AM?
After reading a couple of Gaysians threads, I became curious. Why do you think their is more self hate among AF's and Gaysians compared to AM. I think it's because women are valued more for their beauty then men. Therfore AF's grow up very insecure about how they look and how the media ridicule's Asian culture. Therefore they don't want to be associated with Asians, because Asian is "bad" and "white" is good. Asian-Americans look down on FOBS and make fun of them. This is basicaly the same thing what whites do to Asians. They don't give a fuck is your an "ABC", Fob or Hapa, you just a Chinaman. Anyways, they want to distance themselves I guess and therefore date and marry white. In their mind it's like a statement: I AM DIFFERENT. I AM NOT LIKE THESE ASIANS ON TV. I AM A CIVILIZED AMERICAN. I am desired by WM, thus I am not ugly. Men are more judged by power, money, status, confidence and looks is maybe number 5-6 on the list.
2017.01.20 05:04 ArmorUSAThe truth about the ABC situation and why it's VERY DIFFERENT from the "regular discrimination" in China and needs more attention from all Chinese people, parents or kids
I wanted everyone to see this discussion that look place in an earlier post in a little more detail, so I've posted it as a new post. The first part is a well written post by shuidashui - who grew up in China but came to the USA after college. Other people and mine response follow. [–]shuidashui 2 points 6 hours ago ArmorUSA, I totally sense you. As a new immigrant growing up in China I've already got my fair share of racism crap ( from all races, even from some ABCs, not just from whites) in the US, it is a social problem for sure. However in China you get other types of discriminations and it's even more blatant -- as a female, I finished my high school and undergrad in China majored in a male dominated field. I've heard numerous times that girls shouldn't pursue a career in this field. My high school physics teacher even talked to me face to face that I should transfer my physics final competition quota to some 'boys' after I won my entrance by really hard work. After that talk I never had any interest in physics at all. In college, some faculties announced in public that he did not welcome female students because he thought females are 'narrow minded' ( and he was not fired). I was born in a middle class big city family which is lucky, I saw plenty unfair policies that favor ppl with 'urban identity card -- hukou' ( kinda like greencard but hukou is only for segregating urban Chinese from rural Chinese). Let's say I have a Beijing hukou, I am already 20 years ahead of those who don't, and to have a first-tier city hukou is getting harder and harder these days. Hukou is a systemized discrimination from government level, not like in the US, at least you have law to protect you from being discriminated ( e.g. you can sue your white employer if you have enough evidence). I am not blaming my own culture. As a person experienced enough through both culture, I think it's fair to say all human beings are biologically wired to discriminate against anything different from us--We just always want to stay in our comfort zone. I see a lot of Asians are complaining white supremacy while they themselves discriminate Latinos and blacks. So the good thing about the US is discrimination is at least prohibited by law, and people( especially younger generation) know for a fact it's not ethical. While in China the privileged group are protected from the very top level and the whole society just lack the sense of equality. I am not sure about your parents' background, however I can guarantee you that unless they are from super privileged group in China, everyone else will face discrimination in different ways. I am not sure you will be feeling more 'respect' if you grew up in China. Actually your strong sense of demanding 'respect' is probably cultivated by American culture, and for sure, your strong criticism to your parents is totally an American thing ( in China will be considered unethical). Again, I am not here to criticize you, however I do think it's unfair to blame your parents ( and negatively grouping all ABC's parents). Most ABCs' parents I know in person are not from very privileged Chinese families, they are either from rural area or from working class in the city. When you compare, please compare yourself to the same family background in China and you will get a sense on how lucky you are. In China the social gap is huge and becoming more and more stabilized, when you only focus on Jack Ma or Jianlin Wang, of course you gonna blame your parents-- however they are only 1 in 1.4 billion. On the other hand, if you are from a very privileged Chinese family, through your family connection it should be easy to land a good job in China or making good business connection in the US even with your broken Chinese -- yes it's unfair, but Chinese way of doing business is based on connections, it doesn't matter if you are a ABC or not, and you won't have time to complain on reddit. I can imagine your parents went through all the hardships to get you in this place, or else you are probably struggling in big cities in China to get hukou and with a minimum salary. Of course they have their limitations but please don't take everything for granted. Also i don't think you will have a hard time 'fitting in' in Chinese culture if you speak good Chinese. Look at all the ABC pop stars in China, their Chinese at the beginning was only fair and somehow they are widely accepted. I think because there are too many Chinese, ppl tend to like someone a bit more 'exotic' and you should leverage that to 'blend in'. I also don't think it's fair to blame ABC parents for not educating them enough Chinese. My parents speak no English and I can still survive as a professional in the US, i also see a lot of white folks speaking Chinese and doing business with Chinese these days. They simply fall in love with Chinese culture and decided to learn mandarin and within a few years they are good enough -- it's not that hard. For practical reasons learning Chinese is utilitarian and you don't have to master your Chinese to a PHD level to take advantage. And ironically, it's much easier for a foreigner to get into Chinese top colleges than a domestic student! If you've already finished college, it's also easy to get a top school MBA in China if you're a foreigner. You simply have many choices that you don't see. What I feel is the major hurdle from ABCs mastering Chinese language is from their self-hatred mentality ( again, I am not blaming you, I think it's a by-product of American white supremacy). A lot of ABCs have even more prejudice against Chinese culture than average western people without even understanding it. I don't have a kid yet however I will be heartbroken if my ABC kid is criticizing me like this. If you accept American spirit you should take more responsibility on yourself ( e.g. learning Chinese and blend into Chinese business circle) instead of blaming your parents; if you accept Chinese spirit you should try your best to understand your parents, think from their perspective and respect elders. Are you simply immature and selfish? permalinkembedsavereportgive goldreply [–]ArmorUSA[S] 3 points 3 hours ago* shuidashui, Thanks for you post. I don't think you really understand being an ABC at all, given you said you went to high school and undergrad in China. That means you blend in well with Chinese people, especially if you are overseas, and don't have to worry about racial discrimination at all. You may not realize it, but everything you write is from a very Chinese perspective, and does not reflect the true situation of the ABC in America. I've spent extensive time learning Chinese and I'm sorry, I don't think I can fit even 70% in the Chinese culture that easily. The young Chinese of our generation are very nationalistic and will just continue to purposely use harder and harder Chinese words when they sense that my Chinese is good, they will continue treating me not as a complete Chinese person. I've seen this happen many times. When people see I am well versed in 成语 and some advanced Chinese they will start using 古诗 to prove that their language skills are more superior. It's very annoying, but for an ABC to really blend in, you not only have to know just Chinese, but also all the cultural elements too. It's not easy. Or comfortable. Maybe you are nice to ABCs, but Chinese males think ABC males are a threat. Many are not nice to us, and the better your ABC Chinese is, the more they feel you are a threat. I totally understand your type of thinking. You are still operating under the Chinese culture, which is to respect your parents, do what they they say w/o question, classic Confucianism. From what you wrote, it's very clear that you do not really understand what American culture is at all. When you say "if you accept the American spirit you should take more responsibility on yourself..." that's exactly what I'm doing with my writings on here and Wenxue. The core of the American culture is rugged individualism and telling the truth like it is, that is exactly what I've done. I think parents should be respected when they do the right and responsible things, but I don't think respecting parents means that I cannot criticize them. You are still operating under the Chinese mentality of never criticizing elders or leaders, even if they are wrong. That doesn't fly in America. You need adjust your mentality, b/c if you want to stay in USA, and have kids, your Chinese logic will destroy their lives if they want to stay in the USA. You have to 入乡随俗·。 You say "you are a person experienced enough in both culture" - I'm sorry, you think you understand American culture, but clearly you do not. To understand American culture, you have to grow up here, attend high school here, and ONLY associate with whites and blacks and latinos and NOT have the protection of your native Chinese circle. If you can always go back to the Chinese circle, even in America, that means you do not know what it is like to be an ABC. When you speak about staying in comfort zone, you are taking for granted that everyone has a comfort zone. Sorry, but ABCs, unlike you native Chinese who come here, do NOT have a comfort zone we can go to. That's everyone's message on this forum. We cannot hide anywhere. 我们无地自容。There is nowhere that we can go when we want a little break from racial discrimination. But you can go find your Chinese friends, start a Wechat group, travel with large group of Chinese friends, and feel like you belong. ABCs generally cannot do that. Even though Chinese may be poor and some Chinese discriminate against others depending on where you are from, almost every native Chinese in China can "hide" from this by going back to their hometown or village where they belong 100%. ABCs however have no place in the world where they can go and feel that it is their "hometown" where they are 100%. That's the big difference. Also, the discrimination you feel in China between the rich and the poor is very different from the discrimination of an ABC in America. First, if you are poor, you can become rich. That can change. Like Jack Ma, he was poor, but he worked hard and was lucky and became 首富。You have that opportunity, at least. As an ABC, once you are past teenage years, your identity is set. You can never change. That means, if you don't belong somewhere, you're fucked. That's it. End of the story. No amount of hard work after your teenage years can allow you to learn that cultural assimilation. You are isolated for life. Another key difference, is that ABC guys are very low on the social scale in the USA. You do not feel that b/c you are a female - in America, whites are much nicer to Chinese females than Chinese or ABC males. But Chinese males can hide in Chinese circles, where they have social status that normal males have. But ABC males cannot hide in the Chinese circle either. So we have nowhere to hide. If you want to imagine what that is like, imagine that no boy in China wants to date someone from your hometown. But all the other girls from other home towns can get married, but simply b/c you are from that hometown, you cannot get married. Too bad, you're just unlucky. You have not done anything to deserve it. Do you like that feeling? Finally, I think you don't quite understand what it feels like to be an ABC here in America w/regard to race. I know you say people in China all discriminate against each other based on geography, but that's not the same thing. So a lot of Chinese don't understand why identity is so important. That's because they are lucky to be born in a mono-ethnic environment where you never have to worry about identity. But the difference between people of different races is MUCH larger than people of different skin color but different geography. I've seen many Chinese parents here in USA hang out with other Chinese parents who are from different cities, provinces, towns. I've seen parents from Northern China hang out with parents from Shanghai, Jiangsu, Zhejiang, Hunan, even Hainan. But hanging out with someone from another province, but same skin color, is not the same as being forced to hang out with people of different race - it's completely different. Race difference is much bigger. You cannot understand how an ABC feels b/c you always that China circle as backup, even in the USA. There are so many Chinese in the USA in every city - every city or school has wechat circles (校友国人群, etc...) that provides emotional, dating, career support to new Chinese members. ABCs don't have this support anywhere. ABCs do not have a set identity, a set culture, and their own social systems that protect them and prevent other people from joining. White people can easily break into ABC circles, steal the girls, and leave the guys. That's the truth. We have no language barrier, no cultural barrier, no organization or powerful people or government to support us. Your trouble with understanding how ABCs feel is the same problem as, if say a human being from earth went to another planet and grew up with aliens (外星人) - just pretend for a minute. For that human, all the aliens will look so different from that human that for him, he will start identifying with the HUMAN RACE as a whole. All of a sudden, skin color will not matter, all of the Humans on another planet will hang out together. But when he comes back to earth and tells us, "hey guys, it's so great to be able to truly be part of a human group all the time" - nobody on earth will understand. Why? Because we take this for granted. We are always with other humans on earth, so we never have to worry about being with aliens. So we will not understand this person who grew up on another planet, b/c we say, so what if you're human? Humans have all types of racism. We will say to the guy who grew up on another planet: "Just deal with it". But it's not "just deal with it". If any of us were to be placed in the same situation as him, on another planet, we would realize that as human, you need to be with other humans. That's emotionally important. Same way, you growing up in China will Chinese faces and one skin color, is very different from you growing up in the USA and you are one of the very few Asians, amongst people who are white, black, latino, very few like yourself. Everyone has an innate desire to hang out with people who have the same skin color, you just don't realize it when you are in China b/c that's the default. On earth, it's also emotionally important for us to have our own culture, skin color that we can use as backup. I'm not saying we cannot make friends with people from other races, but everyone needs a "default" race, nationality, and culture they can rely on as a social, societal backbone. I'm not selfish at all. I'm trying to help ABCs who are still young by letting the parents know. It is the parents who are selfish by purposely not admitting reality just so they can save face. 跟ABC 受到的终身孤独比起来，父母的面子值多少钱？ You are the selfish one because you are only thinking about your heart being broken, did you ever care about your future child's heart being broken again and again b/c he is always in a foreign land that he cannot escape from? permalinkembedsaveparenteditdisable inbox repliesdeletereply [–]HenLiHai [score hidden] 2 hours ago i just want to say this was a very well-written response, you are truly aware of our issues permalinkembedsaveparentreportgive goldreply [–]xingfenzhen [score hidden] 51 minutes ago* When people see I am well versed in 成语 and some advanced Chinese they will start using 古诗 to prove that their language skills are more superior. That's annoying as hell, I would have replied. 孔兄，不知"回"字有哪四样写法。 可否请教？(Since this story was mandatory reading in Chinese middle schools, most properly edumacated FOBs should have got the reference.) But the difference between people of different races is MUCH larger than people of different skin color but different geography. That is so true. My extended family, for example, was composed of and scatter across the entire spectrum of geography of China starting from the 1940s. My cousins that end up in Beijing was unequivocally Beijingers, those in Shanghai are annoyingly Shanghainese, those in Xi'an are the typical northwestern 大汉 etc, and just after just 1 or 2 generations too. They all blend in and accepted by the locals, this is sort of thing is impossible in the US. Matter how many generations you spend in the States, you are not never truly American unless you're white. They can, of course "improve their genes" by marrying white and hope the hapa kids are white enough that people don't notice, but that opens a entirely new can of worms.... permalinkembedsaveparentreportgive goldreply [–]ArmorUSA[S] 1 point 15 minutes ago* Exactly. Your skin color means you are always different from the whites and anyone can instantly notice. If a Chinese boy grew up in another ASIAN country like Japan, Korea, or Singapore, he won't have this type of problem. The problem is that ABCs grow up in WESTERN countries dominated by white people who look entirely different. There's no way you can "blend in" no matter how hard you try. European immigrants' kids who grow up in the USA do NOT have the problem that ABCs do b/c they look Western. That's why I feel ABCs may NOT become like Jews in America - b/c Jews may work hard and be cohesive, but they also LOOK WESTERN. ABCs do NOT that's the big difference. Also, the geographical discrimination (地域歧视) that you talk about in China is different because there are many, many provinces and while each province or city discriminates against outsiders, most Chinese can always find that one place (家乡) that they can go to where they are 100% accepted w/o effort. ABCs living in the West is different from this situation for the reasons I cited above. Also, the degree of discrimination, if you measure by "degree", is insanely different. Let me explain why: In China, let's say there are 31 provinces + a few more 自治区 and some other territories, that means each person when moving to other places experiences a similar degree of discrimination. If someone from Beijing goes to Shanghai they will be discriminated but a Shanghai person going to Beijing can expect the same discrimination. Moreover, if both the SH and BJ people go to say Shenzhen they BOTH get discriminated by SZ people. So it's much more uniform level of discrimination that applies to every Chinese, more or less. ABC situation is very different. We are like a tiny portion of the US population, say not even 1-2%. We are discriminated by say (80-90%) of the US population (whites) REGARDLESS of where we go. We have no place of our own where we can discriminate against those white people back. We are the minorities wherever we go and white people are the majority WHEREVER they go. The discrimination is insanely one sided. So the proper comparison would be to assume 98% of China's territory is controlled by say Beijing people and 2% are Shanghai people - that would be a proper comparison to the ABC's situation. And also make the Shanginese people look physically different from the Beijing people, so no matter how the Shanginese tries to blend in people can tell he is from the 2% shanghai group. And now pretend you are a Shanghainese. That's how an ABC feels.
2017.01.19 23:57 officesquatEast VS West - Bridging the narrative from 2 different viewpoints
As someone who has spent significant time in both places, I thought I'd try to let both parties see and discuss view from both perspectives (since it seems people from wenxue are coming here too) Why parents migrate - Problems are much more obvious. We brush these off as minor, but are they really minor?
Work-life balance is shit. Work hours are typically 8-9, so its more than 12 hours of work. Just ask anyone who've lived in Asia. Entertainment and food might be better there, but you work so late you just want to go home and sleep. You barely get to live a life, much less feel resentful about anything, so they see us as spoilt.
It IS harder in Asia, they are NOT heroes, BUT they are BRAVE. Many wish to escape this hardship. Their counterparts in Asia has to make far more sacrifice and hard work than them. They talk about sacrifice because its the old school Asian way to get their kids off their bum. White parents do the same thing with their "walk to school uphill both ways in the snow" murica is an escape for them, a route to a better life for both themselves and their kids. It takes a lot of COURAGE to uproot yourself, move to another land of white apes who speak a different language, navigate around their laws and rules, and settle down there. They are brave, and are angry that their children do not appreciate their courage.
Money - An extreme example is Taiwan, graduate wages are 1k USD, while a 1br apartment in taipei is 1 million USD. I've spoken to a lot of FOB kids from Taiwan, and the way they put it is that even if they worked hard their whole life, and not spent a cent even buying food and drinks, they cannot buy a house. BTW, its 83 years to buy a 1mil dollar house if you saved every single cent of that 1k USD salary. We live very comfortably in the west, so we are just complaining brats.
Social mobility is poor. Hence the whole myth of the murican dream. In China, the whole hukou system is government sanctioned, systematic discrimination, that is extremely hard to get over. In ultra-capitalist places like Hong Kong, Korea, Singapore, Taiwan, the rich have cornered off the housing market, and its impossible to get a foot in, much less start a family. A lot of nepotism in Asia, where it is considered normal, hence the rich takes all. It is much less obvious in the west, so they say our social status is poor due to our own fault.
Education is very stressful. For example, in Singapore, by 4 years old, they are already going to supplementary classes. For a 12 year old looking to enter high school (secondary school), their typical work week is more than 120 hours, with EMPLOYERS letting mothers take a year off to tutor their children in their PSLE exams. Korea is apparently worse, and the rest of Asia is as bad. We are getting it easy here with mere piano lessons, and our pathetic school curriculum. Affirmative action is nothing compared to what they face back home.
Why children are resentful to live in the west - Problems are more insidious. Parents think they're all personal issues, but are they?
Poozero social mobility - Much more insidious than Asia, where money is pretty much used for social mobility. Here we have hollywood brainwashing, combined with certain societal expectations. Parents tiger parent their kids, thinking that their near-autistic robot will be the top of the social pyramid, when in reality, he is at the bottom. Parents are as guilty as hollywood as this. They might earn decent money, but they'll never be the top. Dating wise, they're at the bottom. Parents do not understand, as they're already married, and their social position IS better than it is in Asia, as they're earning more.
White worship - From their Asian sisters, and Asian parents. A common attitude for both (and many times, Asian boys too!) is white=right, but my family is somehow magically different. Every family thinks this way, and they throw their entire community under the bus. We feel immense betrayal, but they feel like they've done nothing wrong, but try to integrate. We emphasise learning classical white instruments like piano. Our sisters exclusively date white boys to integrate and climb to social ladder, while we're left behind holding our parent's expectations by ourselves.
Dating for us is very poor - Male spiders will wander hundreds of kilometers to find a mate, with the majority being killed by other animals, or the environment. The ones that mate either get eaten by the female, or die when they try to molt, and the molt doesn't come off due to their pedipalps. While we're not spiders, I think reproduction, the touch of a woman, someone to share your joys and sorrows with, rank higher than even money or hardship in our scale of needs. Our victories, our investment banker salaries, our piano certificates, all ring false and empty, as we enjoy it alone. Dating in the west is extremely hard, due to a toxic combination of brainwashing, hollywood, and tiger parenting. Dating is a very important aspect of the human psyche. We want to be seen as viable mates, not merely to spend our sexual frustration, but to be seen as a HUMAN BEING. Someone that is human enough to mate with, and not just an asexual robot. It brings us happiness, and makes us feel alive.
Minority discrimination - Parents do not face this, as they hang out in their social circles, but for us, we are the outcasts of our cohort due to the above. A band of untouchable eunuchs. Small dicked asexual, unfeeling robots only good for processing tax returns. We lash out against the FOBs for this, as they are far happier than us, in their social circles. We are made to feel inhuman, each time hollywood shows everyone again, than we are less than human, small, strange, yellow men, from whom white men must liberate their poor, beautiful, exotic sisters from. We feel inhuman each time some fuckwit cowardly shouts racist taunts from his car. We feel inhuman, when our SISTERS write lies about us, so that they can align themselves with the white narrative. We feel inhuman and alone, and all we have are other inhumans. When people tell you a lie so many times, it eventually becomes true in your head.
We have abundant comfort in the west, but no happiness (for many of us at least) - I married very young and very poor. We lived in a very dodgy place full of druggos. We worked very hard, but we still were very happy, because we still had each other. In contrast, my other ABC friends were in far better shape than us, but many of the boys were single, and very unhappy. When I tell them of my hardship, many said they would trade their jobs and wealth for our happiness any day. It is very sad. Being far better off now, I agree with them. I am more comfortable now, but no less happy. There is a difference having comfort and being happy. Our parents think an abundance of comfort will bring us happiness, but they had happiness before comfort, so they confuse the two.
2016.09.14 00:38 EastMeetsEastCalifornia Dreamin': A Haphazard Collection of Random Shower Thoughts and Musings from a Korean American Guy in SoCal
What's good fam . Been a while since I checked in with the brothers here and I still haven't had a chance to podcast since arriving, so I figured I'd re-connect with y'all through text (even though I hate texting... unless it's all emojis!!! ;D). Been out here now for close to two months now, explored the city a bit with friends old and new, and met Dumbfoundead at Line hotel (highly disappointed, but that's a story for another time!). So until I can coordinate a time with Teen to ramble vociferously about anything and everything, have a listicle! Observation #1: Asian America is worse off than I thought Having lived my entire young and young adult life in the Midwest, I guess I was always afforded the luxury of being able to think whatever the fuck I wanted about Asian Americans since there wasn't necessarily a ton around to disabuse me of my notions. In the back of my mind, I guess I always figured there's a ton of y'all out there like me - real dudes that maximize the opportunities they have while recognizing that significant challenges and hurdles need to be overcome in a concerted, collective fashion. Now realize I might have been suffering from a severe case of projection bias cuz I look around me and... whew. Don't get me wrong, I love my brothers to death. However, the sheer amount of minstrelsy I see around me is off the Richter scale. Those who've clawed the scales off their eyes generally tend to have a very elementary understanding of race relations in this country, primarily spoon fed to them like Gerber's formula from YouTube sketches and occasional blog articles. This goes for both the guys and gals, and brings me to point #2. Observation #2: American born Asian guys piss me off What the fuck is wrong with you guys? I'm Americanized as shit, I bleed red, white, and blue, and I speak with the down-home folksiness of an upper middle class Midwestern suburbanite who learned manners and Reagonomics in Sunday School. But I'm ASTOUNDED by how sleep you guys are. The FOBs and 1.5 generation kids, particularly the fu er dai cruising through places like Fullerton and Pasadena in an Aventador, tend to have way more racial and class consciousness than your average ABC or ABK, even if the latter went to "radical" liberal institutions like Berkeley. Stop posing for selfies with your white friends in front of 85C while holding up mochi pastries, and pick up a fucking book once in a while, thanks. Matter of fact, stop hanging out with white people period in a social setting like a fucking lemming unless they're willing to accord you the same basic human respect they give to one another (and good luck finding that unicorn in a haystack). Observation #3: I've lost all patience with American born Asian girls. Point blank, y'all are killing me. Seriously, if the guys are sleep, y'all been cryogenically frozen in deep stasis like Walt's icicle adorned corpse. White worship is rampant (yes, it's worse in NorCal, but SoCal is definitely not immune, particularly in white majority areas), and yes, y'all know EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE DOING. EXACTLY. I've met and talked to enough of y'all now to know that all this pearl clutching online about "toxic masculinity" is a fucking façade. In your most honest moments, you fully and freely admit that your white boyfriend(s) have Yellow Fever, that they disrespect you, and you don't care because you've both bought into the emasculation of Asian men and you're racist against other POC. Own it. Like I've said a million times before, I don't care, just GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY COMMUNITY, YOU DO NOT SPEAK FOR ME. Constance Wu getting propped up like some sort of savior of the community makes me laugh my ass off. Tangent: Hollywood gives zero fucks about Constance Wu, she has done nothing for Asians (particularly Asian men) within the industry, and the only people who even know who the fuck she is are gullible AMERICAN BORN ASIANS who complacently accept yet ANOTHER one of these freaking agents as a spokesperson on our behalf. Stop the madness, please. I work in the industry at a major, I will let y'all know the INSTANT I see someone with slanty eyes actually making waves on our behalf. Until then, please stop falling for reverse Tokyo Roses out to promote themselves and their pet projects at the expense of the community. Bottom line: Date a white boy if you want, but unless that white boy hangs out with ASIAN GUYS, he (and by extension, you) are not welcome in my community. If he's the kind of white guy that only talks to Asian girls, and never chills with the dudes, then fuck him, and fuck you too. THAT'S YELLOW FEVER, WHEN WHITE GUYS ONLY WANT TO TALK TO AND HANG OUT WITH THE GIRLS WHILE IGNORING THE DUDES. STOP ENABLING THAT SHIT. Stop bringing them to dim sum, stop bringing them to Asian professional meetups, and stop dragging them to Asian nights at Lure. If you want to be part of White culture so bad, just FUCK OFF TO AN APPLEBEE'S, stop ruining my local BBQ joint with that racist ass eyesore of a relationship, thanks <3 Observation #4: Dating in SoCal is probably the best it gets for Asian guys in America. If dating is all you're concerned about, SoCal is probably your best bet in America, particularly in predominantly Asian areas (Alhambra, Arcadia, Rowland Heights, K-Town, etc.). If you got your shit together, have at least a tenuous grasp of fashion, and can carry a conversation and flirt with the opposite gender without suffering night sweats, then you'll be okay (e.g., 4-5 dates a week with different women purely off of online dating apps and through friends of friends). This is assuming you work a full-time job and actually pay bills like a grown ass man... I assume if you're running around in platform heels and a funny hat in 2016 "day gaming" on random street corners like some shady dude selling knockoff Rolexes in Manhattan, I'm sure it can be a lot more. That being said, dating is still terrible, because: Observation #5: SoCal is a giant sausage fest, the city is spread out as shit, traffic turns 11 miles away into a fucking long distance relationship, and oh yeah, America is still racist as fuck towards Asian men, even in "liberal" areas. I'll just leave this here: https://psmag.com/the-race-dynamics-of-online-dating-why-are-asian-men-less-eligible-a43b70042ed2#.epsrsxur7 The ratios in LA are pretty horrible to begin with, but add in all the gendered racism against Asian dudes here, and if you're an American born Asian, you're pretty much hopping from one sausage party to another. Things are better if you know your native language and can crack FOB or 1.5 gen circles, but again, shit is NOTHING compared to being in Asia. I highly suggest that all bros who have their shit together make a trip out to Asia, just to understand what "normal" actually looks like. A lot of enclave bros, because their dating life is "okay" here and not the barren nightmarish hellscape that is 99% of 'Murica, don't understand quite how badly they've been dicked until they go to back to their mother country and see how they actually stack up when the general population is not having its collective psyche assaulted with abominable stereotypes about Asian men. Of course, this only applies if you're a decent looking dude who's confident talking to women. If you're a young, socially awkward guy still learning how to navigate the contours of a human relationship without accidentally vomiting spaghetti onto his shoes, maybe work on that first. More to come! Hopefully in a podcast, because my fingers are getting tired from swiping left ;P One sarang, y'all, stay breezy. Fuck the power, and all that jazz <3 Edit: just shitposting in AM, I love that flair. Miss you Dai Lo ❤️
ABG (Asian Baby Girl) VS Rich Mainland Chinese - Online ...
The ABC-FOB Divide -- Sven Wang
ABC News - Online Dating - YouTube
ABCD VS. FOB DRAMA INTERNATIONAL TERMINAL !!
'Dating Advice for Millenials'' by Bela Gandhi on ABC's GMA
Very awkward conversation about Arab/FOB dating featuring Ameira :3 Tumblr: randakay.tumblr.com / modern-hepburn.tumblr.com Twitter: @RandaJK / @msameiraa Instagram: @randajk / @msameiraa. FOB DRAMA INTERNATIONAL TERMINAL !! Category ... ABC GIRLS (American Born Chinese) - Duration: ... ABCs VS Chinese Students: ASIAN DATING HABITS ... Bela Gandhi of Smart Dating Academy, is a nationally acclaimed dating & relationship expert. SDA offers the best tips to start to date smarter to help you fi... Bela Gandhi, Owner of Smart Dating Academy was LIVE on ABC's GMA this morning to talk about 'Dating Advice for Millienials' on biggest DATING weekend of the ... My final project for the Asians Americans and Pop Culture course at Northwestern University. It discusses the gap between Asian Americans and their internati... C.L.E Network welcomes you to our first show called A.B.C. vs. F.O.B. A show that compares American born Chinese (A.B.C.) and Foreign born Chinese (F.O.B.) on their values, culture differences in ... ABCs VS Chinese Students: ASIAN DATING HABITS 美國華裔VS留學生的愛情觀 - Duration: 6:30. ... The ABC-FOB Divide -- Sven Wang - Duration: 5:33. Sven Wang 4,928 views. INSTAGRAM : @LEENDADONG https://www.instagram.com/leendadong/ ABG (Asian Baby Girl) VS Rich Mainland Chinese - Online Dating Experiment. Check out East meet ...